It feels like everyone in my life who is good and symbolizes the best in people keeps dying and it's becoming increasingly less manageable. Those who remain is becoming a bigger group composed of those opposed to me and my existence.
There's a growing voice in my head that keeps saying the world doesn't give a shit about me or anybody else, for that matter. It's not wrong; Humanity is the filth of ruination.
The voice says one day we will all be dead and that it will be a good thing because we are all terrible and virulent destructors, hypocrites and rot.
But the voice isn't an alienable other, it's just my thoughts. And despite the occasional contrarian that seems inherent to my self dialogue, the voice is taking over.
With everyone good dying it's hard not to want to join them. If not in heaven, then in the heavenly non-existence of self.
What does it say about myself I'm left with the leftovers and disgust?
