My love,
God, I love you. I talk about you all the time and think about you even more. I've been sad on the daily we can't talk as much as we used to, but I really hope you understand how much I want to talk to you and it's just how incredibly busy I've been that's preventing it. I'm afraid we're drifting apart to some extent because we used to hang out and talk extensively every day and now we have like 3 conversations a day.
You mean the world to me and I really really don't want to lose you. It's important to me and I want to hear about you and stay up to date in your life so please share more about yourself and what you're up to. You could send me anything about your day at anytime and it wouldn't annoy me at all. I love hearing from you.
I hang out with my friends a lot because I rely on them to not feel alone, which I feel a lot here without you. I don't prefer them over you and I'm always wishing you were with us. I really really miss leaning on you and cuddling with you. You're so soothing and strong and being around you is better than anything else.
I'm listening to Rainbow right now and I'm playing with my bracelet. I love the bracelet, by the way. I wear it literally all day every day. I also like the new song you put on your playlist by Incubus. You're my rainbow too, but l know that rainbow is your thing so I think it's more accurate to say you're my firework. My firework.
I hope how busy I am doesn't bother you too much, and if you have any problems with me or you need something more from our relationship that you tell me. I want to fulfill you and make you happy in every way. Do you mind when we're video chatting and I'm not very talkative? In my opinion, video chatting with you even silent is spending time with you. But, I know not everyone views things that way so if you want more vocal interaction or more messages throughout the day or a video chat every day or anything else I can do my best to make that happen.
I'm crazy excited for you to spend the night in my dorm. I know my bed is small but that just means we can cuddle more. God god god I miss holding you and being held by you so fucking much. You hold my whole fucking heart in your hands and I trust you with it wholly. You are so soft and sweet and curly and I am so yours.
I'm crying now because I'm thinking of how amazing you are and how we're so far apart. I want to make you feel as special and important as you are and I feel like I'm failing.
I'm really looking forward to Christmas Break and how much time we're going to get to spend together. You're magnificent, you're sturdy, and you have great music taste. I REALLY like Secret's Safe With Me, by the way. It's a great song in general but sometimes I imagine one of us is singing it on a stage somewhere to the other of us who is in the audience. Or you singing it softly to me as I try to sleep.
It's 1:36 am right now and I could keep writing to you forever but I should probably take care of myself because I have a lot of homework to do tomorrow. FUCK. Remind me to buy safety goggles and chemistry lab notebook pLeAsE. Oh, and to text Anna about transferring classes. If you forget or if you don't want to it's okay because it's not your responsibility whatsoever but I'd appreciate your help if you're willing to give it.
I love you, Ryland. You're my hero. Goodnight.
♡ Lvr Boy
