Dear Ryland,
I know today will be stressful and anxiety inducing to you. I know you think everybody hates you and that people are only pretending to be your friends because they pity you. I promise it's not real. It frustrates me I can't convince you what's so glaringly true, but if I can't assuage your first day panic that way then maybe I can do it this way:
So what if they hate you? Who cares if they're fake friends? Fuck them. They're irrelevant and have absolutely no bearing on who you are as a person or how important you are. I know that it's way way easier to have people surrounding you to make the time more bearable, but if you've learned anything from your family it's how to stand on your own. Nobody at that school holds half a fucking candle to you in looks, in character, in anything. You're an amazing, phenomenal, vast and moving individual and don't need a single person for anything. Whether you believe me or not, it's true, and there's nothing you can do to change it.
That school is filled with half-baked and soggy people with poorly constructed personalities that crumble at any semblance of authenticity. If they hate you, if they pity you, it's because they don't understand you. You're real and you mean something. If not to them, then to me. Regardless of them and me and everybody else in the world, you mean something to you and you mean something to existence.
I love that you exist. I love that you exist alongside me. I love that you choose me. I love that I get to choose you. I always have your back. You are the best. You don't have to be the best to be the best. You're already you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
