It's Christmas Eve and I'm sitting in my bed eating pie, hearing the muffled sounds of my family talking upstairs. I'm not cold, I'm not hungry, I'm not tired, I'm not in dire need of anything at all really. Things are, as far need driven things go, perfectly fine. But I still feel like there's something missing. And not in the depression-sinking-hole-in-my-chest kind of way, that hasn't not really been an issue today. I think if I had to put a name to it, it would be missing. An I Miss You.
Maybe it's not an I miss you in the conventional sense, but I do, Ryland. I miss you. I'm sorry about your family, I'm sorry they aren't calling you your real name, and I'm sorry I'm not there to help. I think you're amazing, and I can't even imagine how much you're going to grow as a person throughout high school. I think by the time you're a senior, you're going to be a completely different, better, more mature person. You've got so much inside of you, and even in the few months we've been friends I've seen it start to shine through the cracks of your shell. You're not the person now that you're going to be. And I think that's awesome, because if who you are now is any semblance of the foundation for your personhood later in life, I have no doubt you're going to become a stunning, stirring, impressive person.
And that's not to say you're none of those things now. Just that you're going to become more confident and grow into yourself. And that's okay. That's wonderful, actually. Nobody starts out with all of their personality characteristics. I used to be shy, judgmental, timid, and close minded. And if you know me, and I think you do pretty well, you know I'm absolutely none of those things anymore. I'm loud, obnoxious, liberal, unwavering. Nobody can take parts of yourself away from you without your consent. You are who you say you are, and your growth is inevitable.
I know this is kind of a short one, but I'd rather it be concise than lose the meaning in any kind of verbosity. Just know that I think you're a real whiz-bang, doozie, groovy, top-drawer, primo, sensational, cat's meow of a guy.
