The narrator of Erasure 2 is Life as it is manifested to be a human. It grieves for the loss of itself and struggles with the irony of its own entropy. It's aware of all the things that it is and all the things that are it, like "the pursuit of emotion." It possesses the entirety of human endeavor: "years of fights and arguments."
It struggles to cope with all that it is and all that it isn't. The knowledge of itself as the world doesn't make its existence any easier to handle. The negative fluctuation of human emotion destroys and strips with hatred and rage the moments of Life's beauty: its "passionate seconds."
Life's mind is the collective mind of all living things and it swings through this consciousness trying to lessen itself by it's highest and lowest of capacities, the "virulently suicidal and madly euphoric," aspects of itself. It asserts, "I impact," both as a statement of it's importance on the state of everything. But, it also repeats, "I impact," as though it is struggling to come to terms with this and wants to be free from the repercussions of being itself.
Life is self-aware enough to know that it presents itself how one expects it to be presented. This presentation is a negative representation of humanity's impact on itself-- weakening it's own extensive and individual desires by making selective wants cataclysmic persuaders. Life knows who it is steadfastly. Not just is Life the existence of all collective lifeforms, but it is the path, experience, and course of these lifeforms' journeys through Life.
The narration switches from vast and overarching existence to the more singular experience of losing a loved one and the grief that accompanies such. "I managed to move out of my house, something I am still working on to-day," describes the experience of a depressed person (Life) who struggles to continue on and keep moving, not just out of it's house but also through Life in general.
Life's love isn't inhibited whatsoever. It feels love to it's fullest extent and the truest it can. It misses its loved one; It grieves for her. Her death, an inevitability, isn't a sacrificial death and it wasn't a sacrifice for Life to have experienced itself with her-- and to now experience this pain.
Life loves her because it loves her. This love isn't impacted by the loss of itself: death. But, moving and living and continuing without her is difficult and Life resents it must continue to do so.
"March with spit in my fatal city," is probably my favorite line. March is in direct contrast to the often used "move". Life struggles to move but marching is the act of forcefully and intentionally moving. It commands all parts of itself to move with a vengeance through itself. Life is the "fatal city." It's the determinable setting of the loss of itself: death.
It loses all those who have and who will comprise itself and this is shattering to Life, making it the "hopeless succession." The succession of going through Life is hopeless because an individual that contributes to Life's existence is hopeless as it will never exist eternally with Life. Life tries to reassure itself that it is good because it's sole ability as the only thing in the world that can possess love. Trying to reassure itself that it impacts and it makes a difference. It grows it's reach trying to impact more, consumed by the panic that it's impact is irrelevant and/or dwinldling.
Despite it's overwhelmingness of self, it hopes to relieve to some extent by virtue of it's existence. Life is the world, because the world is nothing without Life. Life is who it knows it is. It can reject the anger and uncertainties inherent to itself, but in the end life exposes it's cognizance that Life is also Death. To honor Life refer to it as the empirical proof of existence.
It repeats, "I," struggling to grasp just what it is. "I" is a term that suggests knowledge of self but Life is unsure of itself in most capacities. All it wants is to exist. To impact. To impact. To mean something, anything. It can't handle it anymore. Life is not the steadfast existence it hopes to me.
Life leaves, Life breaks (death).
Life is an interesting character because it's itself in it's human form, but also the existence of all life on earth. So it demanding something of itself is to demand something of all life, and to question itself is to question all life.
