I had my last class today and I didn't know it was my last class. My finals are Monday and I'm very stressed about them because they're huge and stressful and I have no idea what's going on in them. I wrote some poems today and I've been drawing a lot and don't hate all of them, so that makes me feel good. I'm trying to exercise my creativity more because I think I'm going to have to rely on it a lot this winter break to not be so bored.
Some random guy was talking to Spencer earlier about fashion because they noticed each other in the library and he kept complimenting the skull I drew saying I "popped off". I just drew a face of a girl I saw on Instagram and I actually kind of like it minus her eyes. I'm sorry this chapter isn't very good Ryland my head is just all over the place right now and I'm really sad because I feel like I'm destroying the relationships I care most about and sacrificing a piece of me for things that maybe aren't as important as I want them to be.
Megan got some chicken and cheese cubes from a farmers vending machine we have in the library I've always been too afraid to try for fear of foodborne illness, but it was actually really really good. I stole a lot of cheese cubes but she said it's okay because she's kind of lactose intolerant.
I miss you a lot. I was just talking to Spencer, Sonia, and Megan about how much I love you. I'm excited to see you when I get home and give you your birthday presents. I still have that surprise I got you a long time ago I forgot to give you, and I really hope you like it. I at least think you'll think the outside part is really cool, so I'm excited to give it to you.
My stomach has been acting really weird all day. It's kind of like randomly a rock gets thrown at the inside of my digestive tract and then there's a clunk and a gurgling noise. It doesn't really hurt unless I press on it so I'm ignoring it.
Jesus fuck, there's this person who keeps Juuling around me and it smells so fucking gross and the smoke lingers. I hit a Juul for the first time at a house show I was at this past weekend and let me tell you it's not all it's hyped up to be. Does Juul count as vaping? Or do you need a vape mod for that? What about a dab pen? I don't know, but it really doesn't matter anyways because I'm not a tool. Okay I guess that's not entirely fair because a lot of people use Juul and vaping and stuff to stop smoking which I can respect and doesn't make them tools. But you know what I'm talking about.
I know this chapter isn't very long but I want to post as soon as possible so you have something to read. I'll go back through my notebook and see if there's anything I want to post as well. I hope you're feeling well. I can't believe you're sixteen now, that's awesome. SONIA HAS THIS WATER BOTTLE THAT MAKES THE BEST POPPING SOUND WHEN YOU OPEN IT OKAY BYE.
