I got Taco Bell earlier today and now I feel sick. It's always a better concept than it is in execution. Caiti is sick too, she stayed home from school today. I've been hanging out since I got off school, but I still need to go home tonight. I don't like driving, it's stressful and makes me tired and I just want to get to where I have to go. I miss Ryland. He gave me his shirt today and I am sO fucking pumped about it. It smells pheNOMENAL. Exactly like him. Especially by the collar. It makes me want to grab his collar.
I'm watching Criminal Minds right now and this "victim" is really smart. I like her a lot. I trust her, and I'd want to be her friend in the right scenario. Anyways, I took a selfie earlier I'm considering putting on Instagram but it's another side view and my last one was a side view. I haven't seemed to be able to get ANY good selfies recently.
OH my go d my stomach hurts so bad wh. Oh. It's not just the Taco Bell, it's the beginning of the month. I'm about to go on my period. AWESOME. I love it. And by I love it I mean I entirely loathe it.
Speaking of Leonardo. Virginia Woolf's husband (I think) was named Leonard. There's this guy on youtube who made a video that was incredibly critical of "overused" trans names. "Leo" was on the list and even though I'd never heard of someone using that name before, for some reason I became very self-conscious about it. The thing is, I didn't even like the guy who made the video beforehand, I always thought he was kind of a massive dick. I don't even necessarily want Leo as my name, but I was just reading about Virginia Woolf and when I saw "Leonard" I knew it was the fit for me.
I used to like Theo, because Vincent Van Gogh's brother's name was Theodore. It's also just a really nice name. I guess I've got a penchant for the "-eo's". Theo has a nice ring but it reminds me too much of Theodore Roosevelt, I think. And also Theo Boone from this cringy kid lawyer book series I used to be into. Leonardo has great connotations with me. I mean, come on. The ninja turtle... the artist. I know the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were named after famous artists when their creator was in a cafe in Chicago across from a museum and looked out and saw the names, but I still view the turtle and DaVinci with separate names.
I asked Syd to start calling me Lex, and as comforting as it is, I think I was right when I was afraid of the loss of magic. But in regards to nicknames, I frequently think of Ryland as "Ry" or "R" and it takes an effort to not call him that sometimes. I feel like it would seem too forced, even though it's completely not?
Anyways, yes. Lex, Leo, Theo, Ry. A summary.
