I don't know how I'm expected to read poems, or write them, or do anything.
I don't know how every already forgot and I have to keep reminding them--as if, "hey, I was victimized? Remember?"
They just expect I'm okay, or I should be okay. Maybe I should stop acting so okay if it's not how I feel.
But it's not like I can just let my whole life fall to shit just so people take notice I'm not doing fucking fantastic or good at all, quite frankly.
Everything is NOT okay. And I don't want to hear that it's going to be.
Why can't things just be FUCKING SHITTY?
Why can't I just be FUCKING SHITTY?
I hate everyone around me.
I hate everything around me.
And I'm blamed for resorting to alcohol?
I am all, all, all alone.
I thought for a moment that the world was less mean when I'm drunk.
But then I thought again and considered maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe I'm just less mean to myself when I'm drunk.
Maybe I like it because it gives me an excuse to be a mess.
And people take notice.
And I'm not so fucking alone.
Because even when I'm lonely I have me.
