[The Coven on Celebrity Family Feud and the teams are Cordelia, Nan, Misty and Madison vs. Fiona, Myrtle, Zoe and Queenie.]
Host: Name something you pull out.
Madison: Your penis!
Cordelia: Madison!
. . .
Host: Real or fiction, name a famous Willy.
Zoe: Willy the Pooh?
Myrtle: Zoe, no. Close but no.
. . .
Host: Name something you might buy that could turn out to be a phoney.
Misty: A horse.
Host: ... what?
Misty: A horse.
Misty: A pony is a baby horse right?
Madison: [facepalms]
. . .
Host: Name something Russia is famous for.
Fiona: Russians.
Queenie: She's not wrong.
. . .
Host: Name something a burglar wouldn't want to see when he breaks into a house.
Nan: A naked grandma!
Host: A naked what?
Misty: I wouldn't want to see that either.
Host: No one does. It's just an incredibly specific answer.
. . .
Host: Okay, this is the tiebreaker. Name a yellow fruit.
Cordelia: Orange!
Host: ...
Audience: ...
Cordelia: I... panicked.
Madison: Really? Ladies and gentlemen, this is our fucking supreme.
———————————————————————
Bette: What if people had food names?
Bette: [to Maggie] Hey Spaghetti, time for dinner.
Maggie: What are we having?
Bette: Dot.
Dot: How am I related to you?
Bette: Shut up, Potato.
———————————————————————
Cordelia: [walks into the kitchen] It smells nice in here.
Madison: I made Christmas cookies.
Cordelia: It's October.
Madison: [shows cookies to Cordelia]
Cordelia: They're dicks.
Madison: Christmas dicks.
Cordelia:
Cordelia: You're banned from the oven, get out.
———————————————————————
[At Kai's court hearing]
Judge: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
Kai: No.
Judge:
Jury:
Judge: *whispering* What now?
———————————————————————
Misty: What time is it?
Cordelia: I don't know, pass me that saxophone and I'll find out.
Cordelia: [blows saxophone loudly]
Madison: [from the other room] WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT 2 AM???
Cordelia: It's 2am.
