Cordelia: Do you want to tell me how you guys crashed the car?
Zoe: Well, we were driving and there was this deer in the road that Madison couldn't see, so I shouted "Madison, deer!"
Cordelia:
Madison: ...
Zoe: Do you want to tell Cordelia what your response was?
Madison: ... "Yes, honey?"
———————————————————————
Judge: How do you plead?
Dandy: [looks at Bette]
Bette: [mouths] Not guilty.
Dandy: Hot milky.
Dot: Just lock him up.
———————————————————————
Cordelia: [comes home to find Madison still in bed] Have you just been lying there five minutes straight?
Madison: [scrolling on her phone with a cigarette in her hand] I'd say more like 2 hours straight and 3 hours gay.
———————————————————————
Iris: Knock! Knock!
Donovan: ...
Donovan: Who's there?
Iris: Daisy.
Donovan: Daisy who?
Iris: DAISY ME ROLLIN', THEY HATIN'
Donovan: We can't be seen together anymore oh my god!
———————————————————————
[In a club]
Queenie: Okay, you need a rebound to get over Zoe. Let's find you a girl.
Madison: [is drunk and starts looking around the club]
Madison: [sees poshly dressed girl with red lipstick] Omg, she's my type.
Madison: [sees gorgeous girl wearing booty shorts and tank top with a shirt tied around her waist] Omg, she's my type.
Madison: [sees a girl wearing a leather jacket and black combat boots] Omg, she's my type.
Queenie: You do realise you've been scrolling down Zoe's Instagram the whole time right?
