Goku X Vegeta Oneshots

Wily Tactics

It shouldn't be this hard! Are Saiyans really this stupid? I expected more from Vegeta at the very least, but he's just as oblivious as Goku.

I've been seeing the looks they give each other since I met them; admiration, affection, even lust on occasion. They just can't- or won't?- see the other's reception and reciprocation.

It's infuriating.

After a brief rant to my master and pupil, he sits in thought, which surprises me. "I must admit, I've contemplated the situation as well," he says, rubbing his chin. "Being the last Saiyans- and being perfect counterparts- it's a bit of a bother that they haven't acted upon their obvious feelings for each other."

"There's got to be something I can do to help them along," I muse. "Oh, you should see them when they spar... It's like they're dancing, almost like it was all planned out before. Absolutely beautiful together."

"I have to agree," Beerus sniffs. "We're going to help out, I suppose. Who's the bottom?"

I'm somewhat surprised. I guess I have help now! "Vegeta, without a doubt."

Beers makes a face. "What, really? I've always pictured Goku as the bottom. Vegeta?"

"I was a bit perplexed too. But the more you watch them, the more you'll see it." I sit beside Beerus, smiling. "The thing is, I don't think Vegeta is willing to submit to Goku. He's scared of getting hurt; I think he's had some very poor experiences with dominant partners in the past."

"Should we talk to Goku about it?" Beerus stretches. Inactivity is making him twitchy.

"Oh, no. No, no, no. Not yet anyway. They need to accept their affections before we can approach Goku about needing to be careful." This is so exciting! Just the thought of finally seeing those two idiots together is invigorating. "I'm sure there's plenty of ways I can embarrass them in front of each other- and tease them at the same time!"

~Timeskip Brought to You by My Unnecessarily Long Absences~

Their training the following days begins with something similar- but slightly different- to their normal warmup. Usually I have them do a bit of stretching... especially Vegeta, who to this day is as tight as a steel coil... but today I tell them that we'll be doing some proper stretches with the promise that it will help them become even more limber in their fights. Vegeta is going to take some convincing I can see, but Goku seems happy with it.

Then again, when isn't he?

"Come on, Whis; I don't need this for my fighting to improve," Vegeta scoffs. This isn't the first time he's undermined my authority, so perhaps I need to start reminding him who's boss.

"Vegeta, you are a very capable and impressive warrior and you know it," I say, making him smirk. Stroke his ego, than smack it with a spoon. "But with your current attitude, your skills are more than likely to downgrade. I've been doing this since before you were a twinkle in your father's eye, and if you think you know so much more about fighting and training than you do, then you are more than welcome to go and do your own thing while Goku stays with me and outstrips you more than your own conceit already has," I finish, not a small amount of venom in my voice.

Vegeta has cringed down, mouth open and eyes wide. He was not expecting this little lecture and it shows very clearly. Goku looks at me sideways, trying very hard to hide a shit-eating grin. This has been a long time coming, it seems. Vegeta, now put firmly in his place, simply lowers his eyes and nods, unsure of what to do with his freshly whipped pride. I can tell that it's been beaten quite soundly and he'll likely not defy me again for quite some time.

"... Whatever pleases you, Whis-sama," Vegeta says quietly, and once again, he has both surprised me and earned my respect. He is teachable after all.

I nod, acknowledging his deference. "Thank you for your cooperation," I say, and I make eye contact to let him know I am not mocking him. "Now, shall we begin?"

I am not at all surprised when faced with the knowledge that Vegeta can accomplish fewer than half of the stretches that are requested of him and Goku. "Well..." I sigh, "I suppose we'll have to focus on this for a little while."

Since Goku seems well able to relax through the stretches instead of tensing up in pain as Vegeta is consistently doing, I let him just follow along as Vegeta and I go through the motions and slowly acclimate his muscles. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that Goku has paused in his own stretching and is fixedly watching Vegeta slowly stretch out all the way as per my instruction. Even I have to admit that Vegeta looks positively delicious while stretching like this, like a laid out feast for the eyes.

Before I met these two, I'd heard many tales concerning Saiyans and their value on the Dark Trade, ranging from their prize as anything from ring fighters to sex slaves. And after I met them... Well, I knew why they were so popular for most things I'd heard about. Even Goku would have had unspeakable worth if he were to be captured and sold. Vegeta was priceless in every sense of the word. Many would kill to own him, although his savage tendencies might lower his value.

I shake myself out of thought. Vegeta now seems fairly comfortable with this stretch, so I have him go through it again. Still Goku watches, fascinated by his elder's beauty. We both jump in surprise when a rippling crack sounds from Vegeta's spine. I hear him gasp in mixed alarm and relief, and I have to laugh. "See?" I say. "Stretching will help with that kind of tension, Vegeta. Feel better?"

Purring slightly, Vegeta nods. I help him through some other stretches, and we get a lot more snapping and popping joints.

"Geez, Vegeta!" Goku laughs. "Ya sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies!"

"I'll turn you into a bowl of Rice Krispies," Vegeta retorts, growling at his friend.

"No fighting," I say for the nine thousandth time this week. "You two have got to get along better than this or we're going to have problems. I'll lock you up in a room together and make sure that Goku can't use his Instant Transmission to escape," I tease.

"Ah, Whis-san!" Goku complains. "He'd kill me in less than an hour!"

"Hey!" Vegeta snaps. "I have a bit more patience than that, baka."

"Not much," I chuckle, half agreeing with Goku. Vegeta pouts at me and I laugh. "Come on, you two have earned a break."

They look at each other. "Food?" asks Goku.

"Food," Vegeta agrees.

~Timeskip Brought to You by My Dumb Ass Not Writing in Like A Month~

I watch the two sleep in their darkened room, visible only by the soft, shifting colors in the air. I smile. How fond I've grown of them... They're both spoiled rotten in their own ways, but they learn so quickly and eagerly that it makes up for it. I cannot wait for the day that they open up to each other. Maybe it will be soon, maybe it could take them quite a while. It will happen eventually, that I know for certain.

*This was a bit shorter than I thought it would be, but I can write another part if you'd like iloveyoulucythepug ! This kind of fits into Helpless and Found, I think, which is nice because I really liked those. Thank you to all my readers who still are out there supporting me with your kind words and requests! If anyone would like me to write any requests (at this point with almost any ship concerning Goku or Vegeta) then I'd be quite happy to oblige! I hope you enjoyed and thanks again for reading!*