Goku X Vegeta Oneshots

How Many?

*Dozens and dozens of cute little cubs...*

Vegeta pulled the blankets over his head when his mate and several of the cubs came piling in onto the bed. "C'mon, Geta! Up and at em, sleepyhead! It's gonna be a great day!" Goku pulled the covers away and littered Vegeta's face with kisses.

The Prince wailed in protest. "No, I don't want to get up. Can't I be lazy today? Nicto kept me up all night."

"Gah, you'll be fine. Get up!" Goku began to bounce on the bed and the cubs immediately joined in.

"Ok, ok, fine!" Vegeta pushed Goku onto the floor. "Just quit-" He was smothered by cubs.

Goku laughed. "Attack, my children!!!"

Vegeta didn't fight against the torrent of warm, wiggling, squealing kids. Especially with little Yingsen nipping his ear. A single thrash could hurt at least one of them, and he'd never forgive himself if he hurt one of his babies. He did shift so that Yingsen could no longer bite his ear. "Kakarrot, get your brats downstairs."

"Hey. They're yours too, ya know."

"We're not really brats, are we, Daddy?" Sombri asked. She looked back and forth between her parents.

"No, I'm just kidding," Vegeta said. "I love you all so much." He turned his head and gave Fern a peck. She giggled and kissed him back.

"Vegeta, I can't deal with you being this cute and domestic," Goku warned him.

"Get over it." Vegeta tried to sit up. "Oof, ok, guys. Let me up." He soon dragged himself out from underneath the big pile. "Ok, downstairs." Smiling, he watched them go bouncing away, chattering happily. Then he felt a pair of arms slide around his waist and lift him up a few inches. "Kakarrot?"

Goku kissed his ear softly. "You're such a good mom," he breathed. "I know you need breaks to keep up with your training and to let your body rest, but you're just so good at this that I just wanna keep you knocked up all the time." His voice was heavy, low with desire.

"Pops? Dad?"

Goku inhaled sharply, setting Vegeta down with a tense smile. "Let's go downstairs," he said in a tight voice. Vegeta could only remember a handful of times where Goku was this keyed up. The day before they mated, the birth of their first son, that one heat cycle where Goku wasn't allowed anywhere near Vegeta... That was a tough week. He'd been ill and in no condition to mate, so Bulma effectively kept an eye on Goku to prevent any funny business. Goku had stared at Vegeta as if he was a roast, half drooling and silently beckoning. But Bulma was adamant; she went as far as taking Vegeta on a trip with her and leaving Goku to tend to the house in their absence.

Ooh, they were definitely having sex tonight.

Vegeta headed down the stairs after the cubs, and Goku followed. Some of the older cubs were already downstairs, but they were arguing. Vegeta's presence alone brought silence to the room. He smiled brightly. "Morning, everyone. Something wrong?"

"Nope!" they said together, and peace was restored.

"Where's Gogeta?" Vegeta asked, upon noting that a few of his eldest were missing. "And Vegito? And... Vegeta and Yenga?"

Under her breath, Kanalune muttered, "There's a party going on upstairs. Unfortunately I caught a glimpse of it through an open door. Idiots."

"Oh good grief," Goku sighed. "Shall I crash the party?" He grinned at Vegeta.

He waved it off for now. "Leave them be. We don't have any right to interrupt them or judge them for that matter. On Vegeta-sei there were Saiyans all but having sex right out in the open."

"That's disturbing," Goku snorted.

Vegeta shrugged. "Hey, they were having fun and it's how life was. Sexuality was a part of everyday life. No age limit for drinking or admittance to strip clubs-"

"Ooh, really?"

"No, you're not allowed, Servia. You may be a Saiyan but humans don't have our standards... or rather, our lack of them. A parent wouldn't berate their ten year old cubs from having sex. They needed to learn how it was done. Virgins older than twelve or thirteen were unheard of, except for some of the females. If you got your hands on a virgin..." Vegeta shook his head. "On the market they could be as much as-"

"Market!?" Goku squawked. "What the-!?"

Vegeta held up a hand. "Let me explain before you start off on some rant. The women sold themselves- but only ever once. If they'd managed to keep their virginity into their twenties or thirties, they sold themselves as mates and got filthy rich for it. They courted the prospective buyer, and decided whether or not they wanted him as a mate. If so, they took his money and gave him a mate. If not, she was gone."

Goku still looked a little uneasy. He thought for a moment. "Wouldn't he have a share in the money anyway? As her mate, he-"

"Oh ho ho, not necessarily." Vegeta cackled. "She didn't have to share a bit if she didn't feel inclined! Not a piece of it! Ok, here's a good story-" Vegeta immediately went into story-telling mode, hands on his knees leaning forward, eyes big and bright, and all the kids gathered around. "So I heard about this one fifty year old virgin. Fifty! It was unheard of! And she was gorgeous too. How she got through so many heat cycles without losing control even once, I don't know. But here she was. She was asking for a king's ransom, and it was worth it too. Begeta, fifty years old and never been with a man, or even another woman for that matter! She was a walking miracle.

"So this really really rich guy has his eye on her. He was a dick-"

"Vegeta."

"Sorry. But she accepted his offer. No one knew why. The guy was a creep! But she robbed him of every penny," he hissed. "Every last bit of money he had. They mated. But..." Vegeta wiggled excitedly. "This is where it gets good. So a few weeks later, he's drafted and sent into battle. He dies!"

All the kids gasped. Losing a mate was as good as slitting your own throat.

"But just a sec... Another Saiyan- her best friend, in fact, offers to mate with her to save her life. Now she's loved him for years, so duh! She says yes and they mate... Two years later, I was born."

All of the cubs gaped at him for a second, then squealed in excitement. Goku laughed out loud. "Oh, yes!" he exclaimed. "Oh, that was perfect. Holy shit. Wow. I did not see that coming." He rubbed his face, laughing.

"Not around the kids, Kakarrot," Vegeta said cheekily.

"Don't you dare," Goku said. "I will spank you right here in front of each and every one of these cubs."

"That's kinky," coughed Vegito from the stairs. All four of the missing cubs were perched on the stairs listening.

Vegeta grinned. "Well there you are. You know, this conversation actually started with you guys, believe it or not."

Gogeta turned pink. "W- What about us?"

Kanalune replied, "Just that all four of you guys were up there having sex together."

The four boys reddened and rubbed their necks- a Son habit, it seemed. They all came down and they had breakfast.

*Seeing these guys in a domestic life just kills me... They're all so cute!*