Goku X Vegeta Oneshots

Death of The Mind

*Final part to Twilight of The Heart*

Was this a mistake? I asked myself as I was slammed against the wall, as I gave myself yet again to my teacher and friend and healer, as I relearned this feeling sparking like electricity through my system as he howled my name through tears of agonized ecstasy. No. No it was not.

I was exhausted when I was finally released, shaking and panting through the heat of the aftermath of our very spontaneous activity.

We had just been talking... I dazedly forced myself through the memories of the opening to the sequence of these very strange events.

"Something is wrong with me," I said, tilting my head. I sat with Kakarrot at my side. I frowned, assessing myself. Something felt amiss.

"Are you hurting?" he asked me; I heard concern.

Was it pain? No. I shook my head. The sensation grew stronger when I looked at him again. I noticed everything with an even sharper focus than normal. What was it? I felt my heart pounding and my skin crawling as I took in his muscular frame, his hands, the shape of his mouth, the blinding shimmer of his eyes, everything, everything, the feeling of his thighs under my hands, the feeling of his hands gripping my braced arms, the sound of his confused voice hitting my ears like music, the smell of his skin filling my nose, the taste of his mouth and saliva, the horrible burning inside me that screamed for more, these feelings, all these feelings eating me alive, I was alive again!

And just as quickly as it had begun, I found myself dragging him on top of me, snapping my teeth and snarling his name like a prayer to my goddess as he complied to my every command, quickly catching my wild fervor like a disease and losing himself with me. Our skin burned as we came together. How long had I been craving this? What was this? I couldn't remember!

"Hurry," I gasped, "hurry, before it goes away! What is this, Kakarrot, what is it???"

"Oh, trust me, it's not going away any time soon," he growled in my ear, sending racking shudders through my body like a seizure. "This is- This is something special. This is lust."

Sparkling memories returned suddenly, and with it fresh pulses of this heady arousal. Yes, I remembered now. This was very good.

Kakarrot knew me so well, well enough to know that being slow and gentle would easily irritate me. I had never liked pain with pleasure, but gods, I loved this. He was rough, but not enough to really harm me. He had to be an angel; I was in a new heaven and it brought a part of me that I never thought I'd be again to life. It wasn't once that he brought me to a screaming finish, not twice or thrice or even four times. I lost count at the seventh climax, everything in my head wiped clean of thought as he continued to torture me into pleasure I'd never dreamed of.

You passed out eventually, he had laughed some time later. Thought I'd killed you. It's been a really long time since you've had sex, huh?

There we were again, all over each other like animals in heat. I craved the feeling he brought to me. When he held me at that edge, I remembered it all. I had everything back, even if just for a little while. Every time I rode out that high, a little more stayed with me. He was my healer. This had become my therapy. And he was happy too, I came to see. He loved this almost as much as I did, and that made me feel... happy.

I grew far too fond of the way he would smile so brilliantly at me as we lay together, basking in each other's warmth. Every kiss made me feel more and more. Was this healing? It certainly felt like it. Hardly a moment went by that we were not touching in some way, whether it be his hand protectively around my waist, my hand grasping his lovingly, his smiling lips against mine, my hand sinking into his pants yet again...

Insatiable, he called me. Addicted, I'd retort. Crazy, he would laugh. Yours, I whispered.

We grew to learn that I suffered from a wild tangle of various problems. Apparently I had some kind of depressive disorder as well as anxiety. I received a clearer diagnosis when Kakarrot and I went to a special place, where the inhabitants could seek out unique problems in the mind. The alien that treated me seemed shocked the moment it pressed into my broken mind. It sensed the ruined spell that had destroyed my head.

Could it fix me? Only very slowly. It would take a very long time to return to a semblance of my former self. I would never be the same again after the kind of damage I had sustained.

We stayed there for a long time, about three Earth years. Every day fell into a surprisingly pleasant routine. I would awaken to the softest touches and kisses from my lover, and we relaxed there in our bed. Some days we would make love. We stuffed ourselves to the brim with maddeningly tasty things that I had never seen or tried before. An inhabitant of this place would come sit with us and reach into the cracked pieces of my mind. Slowly but surely I was pieced together, like a child's puzzle.

Kakarrot treated me like a butterfly, as if my healing meant that I was growing more fragile. No. If anything, I was strengthened by these mental exercises and resurfaced memories. As I healed, the darker feelings, the only things I had known for so long, began to fade, and as they died, they were slowly replaced with such good things: excitement, contentment, joy, even love. Oh, especially love. I was so in love with my savior, my sweet Kakarrot, who was there beside me every waking moment, holding my hand, making me feel loved and wanted and needed...

Oh, I still laugh at that funny little fantasy.

My sweet Kakarrot... yes, yes, my dear little lover who tried so very hard to fix me and my broken head. Gods, I was so far gone, even I thought it was hilarious! It was so easy to lure him out just where I wanted him, out both in body and mind where no one could touch him, where he was mine. He loves me, worships me like the god I am no matter what I say or do to him. I've got him so wrapped around my finger there is no hope for turning back. I balance the love and the hate just so he knows that he knows that I love him but that he is worthless on his own. I've always loved how freakishly gullible he is! It's so much fun to feed the lies into his head and watch him fight against his dying morals. I've never been so alive.

Have I lost my mind? Oh, yes.

Is there any hope for the fallen Prince of the Saiyans?

I think not.