Roommates

part 19

i sit down in my first class all the way in the back, i like seeing the people around me and when i sit in front i don't

my mom told me to sit in front because it'll help me focus more but my moms, she's dead

i watch everyone sit down next to there friends and i wonder what's taking soph so long to get here, did she forget that classes start today or am i in the wrong class?

as soon as i take my phone out soph sits down next to me, "hey" she breathes

"did you run here?" i ask, she doesn't have any of her stuff

"yea i forgot classes start i thought we had another week" she giggles, "can i have paper?" she ask and i nod handing her a piece of paper and a pencil

"why didn't you bring your stuff?" i look at a student close the room door

"because i forgot i got so drunk last night" she smiles and i nod

"why were you drinking on a sunday night?"

she shrugs her shoulders, "lily came over after like a week and we got drunk together" i remember lily calling joey, did he hang out with her and get drunk?

"hey" me and soph both hear, we turn around and see joey standing behind us, black jeans, black leather jacket and a white shirt, a plan white shirt

"anyone sitting next to you kelsey?" he ask

"um no" i turn my head back to the front of class, i could feel joey eyes on me as he sits down next to me

"hey" he whispers in my ear

"hey" i whisper back, my eyes on the teacher

i start sketching a heart on my paper waiting for the teacher to start the class, i really don't want to talk to joey and i hope he understands. if he likes lily why doesn't he just stay with her than, i don't want to fall in love again with the wrong person, i'm not in love with him or anything but i know when i'm about too fall in love with someone

"so what you do when i left?" he ask me, the class starts quieting down when the teacher put his hand in the air

"what did you do?" i turn and look at him

the teacher starts talking but that doesn't stop me from wanting an answer from joey, but knowing the type of person he is, he probably won't answer me, i wait for him to say something but instead he stays quiet and looks at me in the eyes, exactly.

i sigh and look back at the front off the class and erase the heart on my paper

the rest of class goes quickly and quietly, joey hasn't said anything to me, i know i said i don't want him to talk to me but know i want him to say something, anything

he can even ask me for a pencil or some chapstick, i just want to talk to him right now or play around with him. i've never seen him in a leather jacket but he looks so hot

i notice myself staring at him when he turned to look at him, "can i help you?" he ask

"where did you go last night?" i ask, pressing the pencil in my hand

"doesn't matter" he looks away from me and back in front of the class

i take a deep breath and look at my paper, what does that even fucking mean, dOeSnt mAttEr
yes it does, i'm not here for playing games

i should tell him that but i'm too scared, scared of what he'll say and how it might hurt me even more

but i want to know more, why he left me for lily, why he always goes back to her. this hickey on my neck isn't going anywhere. i look over at him to say something until i notice he has it too, a hickey on his neck

"are you kidding me" i accidentally blurt

he turns around and looks at me, "what kelsey?" he seems annoyed and i really hate myself for saying that but it's to late to take it back now

"who gave you that hickey?" i pull his jacket and he pushes my arm

"it's not a hickey" he says

"guys" soph interrupts us

we both ignore her, "joey what is that?"

"a bruise" he answer

"on your neck?" i scoff

"why does it matter?" he says shoving his stuff in his backpack

i furrow my eyebrows, "because-" how do i tell him without sounding like an idiot

what if he doesn't even see me the way i see him, i watch him leave the class, we had another hour left

i get up and follow him, once i was out the class i look around for him "joey!" i yell for him to hear, he turns around and looks at me

"what?" he sighs

i walk towards him, "what are you doing?"

"what am i doing?" he crosses his arm

"ugh i, you know what you're doing. you were at my dorm yesterday and then you leave to lily's and come back with a hickey on your neck, it doesn't make sense"

he takes a deep breath, "look kelsey" he stops to think, "i don't know what i... what i am doing with you. it's fun but like it... i don't know"

"what the fuck does that even mean?" he doesn't know what he's doing to me? that makes no sense, he comes to my dorm and we make out but then he leaves and makes out with someone else?

"am i just a random hook up?" i blurt

he looks down at me, "what no" he breaths

"than what do you mean by, 'you don't know what you're doing with me' " i quote his words

"kelsey, i" he shakes his head

"are you like using me or something? just tell me now joey i'm not trying to do this again" i bite my bottom lip

"i don't kelsey i seriously don't know what i'm doing, i... i have to go" he turns around and walks away from me