Roommates

part 88

i pull away and look at him, "why did you do all this?"

he doesn't answer

i just stare at him, his keeps his head down. i don't think i've ever seen him so upset

i don't know how to comfort him. i don't even know what to do... and jacob is always telling me that he isn't the same person so i wouldn't really know how to make him feel better

i just want to kiss him so badly but i can't. i shouldn't. but i cant help it!

and i love how out of everyone he decided to call me to comfort him. he wanted me to be here with him

so does that mean that maybe he has some feelings? maybe deep deep down?

i want to think that he does but after everything that has happened with us i don't know what to think

he was rude at lily's birthday and didn't help me pick up the beer bottles when they fell out of my hands the day at my house

what if he isn't the same person he was? fuck

my heart starts racing faster because this is all i have been thinking about the past week

i want to punch something. i want to throw something against the wall and watch it break

just breathe kels. just breathe

"joey" i say, he looks up at me

"is this your house?" i ask him

he shakes his head and finally says something "i rented it for a couple of months. it belongs to a friend of mine"

"i-i thought you moved here?"

"i did. i'm living here for a while because i... i already destroyed my other house"

my eyes widen. wow, so he's always been destroying stuff

"please don't think i'm a bad person"

"i would never think that joey" i tell him honestly

he gives me a small grin. a really really small grin. the anxiety leaves my body and my heart starts to flutter

he smiled? even if it was small it means a lot. he had the same scary face on him every since the day i saw him

i want to ask why he called me out of everyone. it's been so long too, why me?

i don't bother to ask because i know if i did he wouldn't answer it

"do you want to go out or something?" i ask him

"where?" his voice is raspy

i shrug my shoulders, "we can go get some food or go to the mountains and watch the city lights"

"okay" he whispers

i open his front door and he follows behind me. i just really hope this won't be awkward

but he said yes, well he said okay but it's still considered a yes in my opinion

he didn't say no, so that means he wants me to still be in his life, right? maybe i'm overreacting

i just missed him so much

i start the car as he sits down in the passenger seat. i turn the radio on so the car ride won't be so quiet

i think of where i'm going to buy some food. i just ordered food at my house as well. but i cant go back because jacob will keep me locked inside

"where do you want to eat?" i ask him