Roommates

part 47

i walk into the kitchen and grab a snack from the fridge and sit down at the table. i'm leaving tonight... i don't want too

i want to stay here.

knock knock

i walk to the front door and hope my dad and cynthia have came back from the store. i open the door and jacob is standing in front of me

i don't say anything and stare at him, he sighs and says "i'm sorry kels"

i look down at my feet and take a deep breath. j don't forgive him. he was with someone, that is just wrong and i don't want an explanation

i don't want to think about it and just want to push it all down, far far far down. i should've done that a while ago

push everything down and move on.

"your leaving tonight right?" he breaks the silence

"yea, still thinking about it" i press my
lips together

this is way too awkward, "thinking? about what?" he questions

"if i want to leave tonight or move to another college..." i answer

"oh, you won't be going to WSC anymore?"

"probably not" my mind wanders to joey, "my dad said my exam scores were really good so he might want to transfer me somewhere else"

"closer or farther?" he ask

"closer, it's actually like... maybe 30 minutes away" i shouldn't have told him how far it was

"that's great, really great" he shoves his hands in his pockets, "i'm going to WSC this fall, school ends in a few weeks but i already graduated"

"good for you" i don't know where this conversation is going but i kinda don't want it to end

"yea, lily's going back to WSC tonight as well, her and joey have been so loud at home it's been so annoying" he tells me and my heart stops

"w-wait, her and joey a-are at your place, right now?" i try not to show that i care

"yea, he came over last night. when you left actually" he scratches the back of his neck

"oh" i didn't know he was coming, does he know i was his journal? what if he came back to get it from me

"yea, lily wanted to know if you want to come out to dinner with us tonight"

"us? as in you and lily? or you, lily... and joey"

"me, lily, and joey" he answers

"i- i actually cant, i'm busy tonight" i lie

"okay, um, goodbye" he says and i wave at him

i close the door shut and turn around and take a deep breath

joey is a house right next to mine, he is here. fuck

"hey kels who was that by the door?" cynthia walls to the door rubbing her eyes

"a friend" i nod and she smiles

"okay, your father went out to get some suit cases for you" she tells me

i nod at her and walk back to the table where i was eating my snack which i no longer want

i lost my appetite, if my dad knows joey is here he'll do anything for me to talk to him.

i'm not done with his journal and i don't think i want to finish it. even though it shows me another side to him, i don't want to know the other side of him