i open the journal and take a deep breath, i think of me and jacobs conversation again
i don't know what to write again, it's so hard to write down my feelings when i don't know what i'm feeling
"hey kelsey" my dad smiles at me
"hey dad" i close the notebook
my dad sits down next to me on the couch and turns on the tv, "you're using the journal joey gave you"
"yea i am"
"what are you writing in it" he ask
"my feelings i guess"
"feelings... you still like him?" my dad questions
"i-i don't know dad, i don't know what i feel"
"what about jaden? he's such a good person kelsey. does he know?" he sighs
"no, jaden doesn't know. and i know he's an amazing person but i cant be with someone if i still think there's hope for me and joey" i admit
"hope?" my dad chuckles, "he's getting married in a couple of weeks kelsey. there is no hope"
"you're right" i bite my cheek, what am i even saying, "i still love joey"
my dad faces me and frowns, "you had your chance kels"
"you're not helping dad" i tell him
"why don't you do this, pretend you're writing a letter to him, then burn it" my dad suggest
that's what i said
"i mean... i guess"
my dad turns off the tv when cynthia walks into the living room, "i made pasta!"
"my favorite" my dad stands from the couch and follows her into the kitchen
i open the journal again and grab my pen, i take a deep breath before writing in it again
dear joey,
this feels kinda weird but i continue
you are going to be a married man in a couple of weeks. after everything we went through together you decided to be with someone else and i am mad about it
not mad but more upset, hurt, betrayed. because the last time i saw you before i left you told me how you changed to be the perfect guy for me and i believed you
you changed for me because you wanted to be with me but i would've loved you either way though. you didn't need to change yourself for me
you told me you can't do a long distance relationship and that was understanding but i waited, waited for you text me or tell me you miss me too
i knew you would've seen new people and i was okay with it. but i always had hope for us. that maybe we would end up together
i would even dream of it, we would bump into each other at the mall or park and we would just catch up again and that would be when we both realized that we are still love each other
and my dream did come true, until you told me you're in love with someone else. and how happy she makes you
it hurt me a lot. made me think of how pathetic i was to even wait all this time.
the thing that gave me the most hope was your journal. i remember when you would always hide it from me
i finally got to read it which isn't even appropriate to read someone else's journal but i did and i regret it
YOU ARE READING
Roommates
General Fictioni lay on the floor with my head in my hands and my heart in his hands Kelsey davis first year in college having to share a room with Joey Birlem. They have an instant connection but seem to be on and off. Trust is a big priority but both not knowing...
