Roommates

part 22

8pm

"where you going?" jenny grabs my wrist and turns me around

"i have to drop something off" i lie, she let's go of me and nods, "k, i'll be at soph's dorm" she says

hanging with jenny the entire day was okay, i skipped the second day of class hoping that we didn't get assigned a lot of stuff

i sit outside at a table by the library and wait for joey to show up. i wonder what he's going to talk about. i rehears every thing i want to tell him but then remind myself that he's probably just going to say something to make me feel worse

i take a deep breath and look down at my phone, it's been 30 minutes and now i'm wondering if he forgot to even come. should i text him or would that show me off as desperate? i don't want to be annoying as well. what if he shows up with lily or even worse what if lily was on his phone texting me and i'm getting set up right now

"kels"

i turn around and joeys standing behind me, black jeans a black hoodie, he sits down next to me and looks around the area before looking at me, "hey" he whispers

"hey" i breathe

should i ask him what he wants to talk about now? no i'll just wait

"so" i break the silence

i hear his breathing get heavy, he runs his hand through his hair and looks at me then back at the table. he seems nervous, why is he nervous

should i start the talking? what does he want to tell me? i shouldn't have came he's not even going to talk to me

"i'm so sorry kelsey" he looks at me again, looking at my face waiting for me to say something back

"i know" i reply, i feel like i'm always hearing him apologize "so what did you want to talk about?" i finally ask

"i don't know" he looks down again

it's starts feeling a bit awkward now and now i'm considering to do that talking, and that's exactly what i do, "why do you always go back to her?" i ask, faking a little laugh that came out of my mouth

it takes a few seconds before he answers me, "i- i don't know" he answers

"yes you do"

"it's stupid" he pulls his bottom lip

we just got here and i already want to just go back to the dorms, "there was no point in coming at all if you're just going to shut me out and not talk" i stand up and turn around

"fuck wait" he says, i turn around and he's standing next to the table with his hands in the pocket of his hoodie

"joey i'm seriously drained, you said you want to talk and you won't"

"i don't know how to talk to you" he walks towards me, not standing in front of me looking down at me

"you don't know how to talk to me? you've always been good at it and now you aren't?" i look in his eyes

"i don't, i don't know how to talk when i'm with you. i'm scared i'll say something and accidentally fuck everything up" he says

i roll my eyes, "you already fucked everything up"

"what?"

"you played me and went back to lily after" i shake my head

"don't bring her up right now-"

i interrupt him, "don't bring her up? you're always with her. it seems like you forgot that you left me for her? i literally don't understand you"