Warning: this is an angst,but with a happy ending, some people might not like it:)
I've been dating Wooyoung for about 5 months now. To say I'm happy would be an understatement. I'm not the type of person who seeks for romance in her life, unlike most girls do. But with Wooyoung it's different. Ever since I laid my eyes on him, I was captivated. His ecstatic smile, his childlike laugh, his dark eyes that I could stare for hours,to the way he just simply stands beside me. I feel safe and calm, that nothing or noone can harm me.
It's not just his appearance that makes him attractive though. It's his personality too. I can't even remember how many times I'd just cry my emotions to him while he would gently stroke my hair. Or the times when I'd have a really bad day and even though he's an idol, so as a result he's tired most of the time, he'd put his weariness aside and comfort me till the tears and the puffiness in my eyes were no longer noticeable.
You see, I'm an idol too so I have a lot of worries. Apart from the usual worries that every idol has, ever since we revealed our relationship to the public, these concerns intensified and so did my anxieties. Fortunately, there were a lot of fans who showed their support towards our relationship, but hate was also inevitable. Harsh words and comments filled up my group's social medias. Thankfully, Ateez didn't receive a lot of them but my group's reputation was destroyed as if we did something wrong. As time passed by, the comments decreased and I was finally at ease once again. There were,obviously, some fans that abandoned my group's fanbase, but at the same time I don't care cause these kind of people are toxic and not true fans whatsoever. Wooyoung was there for me all the time. He reminded me everyday how important I was to him and not to give any attention to these comments. I felt gratitude and relief to have him by my side.
But it all went downhill from there. The calls and texts that I used to receive everyday,or at least every other day, were now either minimal or of a short duration. The smiles, that were sometimes the only reason of my smiles, were now replaced by an inexpressible face that did not flatter him at all. When we'd make eye contact his eyes wouldn't sparkle anymore and I felt as if I was looking at a stranger. Even when he has a day off,he goes out drinking with his members and comes back late when I have no sturdiness to argue and I just let it go. Even if I ask him where he's been or how his day was, he just ignores me or replies with a simple ''it was okay''. I don't want to think about the times when I'd try to cuddle with him and he'd casually shrug me off and distance himself from me. I have been living under these circumstances for a while now and I don't think I can handle it anymore.
This is how my days passed by. Luckily,my group didn't have any schedules so the rest of the members and I took advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and decided that it would be best to just rest for a while. I headed towards the apartment that Wooyoung and I share, after an almost 12-hour practice. I was walking down the street while wondering how I could spend my free time. Thoughts filled up my head and scenarios, with me and Wooyoung cuddled up together on the couch sharing our worries or just talking about small things, but they were interrupted when I reminded myself of the condition our relationship was in these past couple of weeks. I tried to encourage myself by crowding my head with the same, continuous words.'Everything is going to be okay'. 'This is something normal,nothing to worry about'. 'He is just tired,do not pressure him'. How longer will I be able to face this though?
I unlocked the door to our apartment,only to be met with silence and darkness. Something that used to tear me apart, but is now a usual thing for me. I heaved a long sigh and set my bag down. I opened the tv, not that I wanted to watch anything, just to fill up the quietness. It was suffocating me. I didn't want to admit it, but it did. It's crazy when I think about how I was before I met Wooyoung. I wanted nothing but silence. I used to detest loud people or noises. But now, the only thing that I desire is to hear his laugh. Just one more time. Suddenly,my thoughts were interrupted when I got reminded of how late it was. I looked at the clock. Past midnight. I decided to make us dinner since he'd probably be starving due to the excessive amount of hard work.
