Dedicated to: taehae_yong
guardian angel au
everything appears different in her eyes as she's waiting. even the colorful flowers that she has seen so many times before. they're much more intense and vivid. it looks like they're dancing in a melody that only them are able to listen, the soft winter breeze being their conductor.
she looks down when she feels a purple one tickling her leg gently, as though trying to calm her down and let her mind wander away to more peaceful thoughts. to a happier place. a few raindrops are surrounding her, but thankfully the small roof manages to protect her.
her gaze travels to the handkerchief in her hands. a soft blue color conquers it, while a few embroidered pink flowers compliment the color and manage to create a perfect harmony.
a small smile slips on her red lips as she's caressing the soft material with her thumb. it's crazy to think that such a simple thing can mean so much to a person. it can hold so many memories, that even something bigger, more powerful could never handle.
she looks up again. he's still not there. she begins to worry. calm rain continues to fall from the cloudy sky. she wishes she could be that serene and unbothered. yet her beating heart, the one that feels like it will escape from her chest any second now, seems to think otherwise.
her breath hitches when she hears slow footsteps. the rain splashes beneath his shoes and whoever that person is, he sounds nervous. he keeps stopping at every other step. she wishes he would just run towards her so she could see who it was. yet at the same time she's the one who wants to run away.
she stops breathing when she sees him. she knows it's him. she has never seen him before, only felt him. but she knows. she wants to get up, yet her feet are stuck to the damp ground. her gaze travels everywhere along his body, but she overlooks everything that's perfect on it when she meets his eyes.
they are widened. widened to the point she can see every detail of his eye color. a perfect dark color that seems to be holding the entire galaxy. a color too bright to be overlooked. how can she look at his perfect hair, his perfect lips or body when he's staring at her like that? like she's the only existence among billion presences?
he closes his umbrella and gets closer to her, letting it fall somewhere on the ground. it doesn't matter. he has seen her many times before. admired and protected her. but this day feels like the first time he laid his eyes on her. he remembers how sweaty his hands had become, how dry his lips had felt or the way the only thing he could hear was the loud sound of his own heartbeat. this sensation feels way too familiar. but he likes it. he's falling in love with her all over again.
they keep staring at each other, talking through their eyes that seem to be holding all the things they want to say to one another, yet are too nervous to express them. he takes a step closer, until he's standing right in front of her, legs touching in the slighest way. the sudden contact halts their breathing, their rational way of thinking. he crouches down, placing his hands on her knees in the most comforting and naive manner, and meets her eyes from upclose.
"i can't believe you're staring at me..." he whispers breathlessly. "i remember...i remember observing you staring at a sunset or...a good book that way. the same way you're staring at me right now." his cheeks redden. "and now...now i envy them. because they have no soul or breathing to lose."
she extends her hand to touch his cheek. his skin is soft against her hand and she feels that pulling it away would be a disgrace as she watches him leaning onto it. his eyes flutter and close in an instant, the smallest touch bewitching him.
"you're so cold..." she says wistfully.
his eyes open and the genuineness in them takes her breath away. "i've been cold for you many times before. i don't mind doing it again."
she feels the handkerchief in her hand, suddenly becoming aware of its evident existence. "i think that's yours." she says hesitantly.
he chuckles sheepishly and covers his face with his hand. "i guess i forgot it."
"what is it for??"
he looks at her and his eyes sparkle, a sorrowful wave passing through them. "when you cry i..." he takes her smaller hand in his, holding the handkerchief together. "i use this to wipe your tears away. it doesn't do much, but...it's better than nothing."
she's at a loss for words. her chest fills with pure affection and love. "how can i repay you for everything that you've done for me? i feel...i feel like i'm doing nothing."
"no." he says immediately, squeezing her hand gently. "on the contrast y/n..." he places a soft kiss on the back of her hand. "you've made me happy. you've made me a better person. and i've learned so much from you."
silence occurs. yet their gazes on each other scream for something more. something that both of them are too frightened to admit. the rain has stopped and his voice sounds crystal clear, like a soft cloud, the starry sky. it resonates in her ears better than before and she feels that she can't handle more of him.
"live happily. live well." he replies. "not for me. not for anyone. just for you y/n." he makes her stand up, their bodies closer than ever. "please promise me that."
his skin against hers is like fire, but none of them pull away. she swallows the deep lump in her throat. "i promise."
he leans in and pecks her forehead, a habit of his before she went to sleep. and just like that...he walks away. he can't say more. he feels like his eyes will well with fresh tears if he speaks any further. his heart will ache and stop beating entirely.
she stares at his back dumbfounded, yet relieved to know she has someone like him by her side. to protect and cherish her, even though he doesn't have to. she hadn't met him before that day, but she felt like she knew him since forever. like she knows every detail of his. every part of his existence.
but...it's only how she feels. because it's not true.
she doesn't know that he can't see her again. she doesn't know that a guardian angel is not supposed to be seen by the person they protect. that he gave up his wings only to see her. for real this time. she doesn't know that when she requested to see her angel, he ruined everything for them. that her curiosity got the best of her.
she doesn't know that he will be replaced. will the new angel's touch be the same? will he genuinely protect and treasure her? love and hug her warmly when she's sad? smile and be happy for her when she succeeds?
nobody knows that. not even yunho. and it's killing him. killing him to know that someone selfish or greedy might take his place. he prays. prays everyday for her to have someone that will love her.
just like he did...
