Dedicated to: -Arandomperson-
"hey guys!!" i greet, waving at the camera cheerfully.
"so i'm very excited about today's video because it's been requested so many times! and at first i wasn't sure about it but..." i inhale deeply.
"today's the day that i will be pranking hongjoong, my boyfriend!!" i erupt in acclamations and a round of applause, my cheers echoing through the empty apartment.
"so!! he will be back soon from the studio and it's really really late, so i'm not sure how he's going to react..." i pause and think of the many possibilities. "but yeah anyways, i will basically try to ignore him for the rest of the evening no matter what he says, no matter what he does...i'm going to ignore him!"
i sigh and hide my face behind my hands, suddenly becoming aware of what i'm about to do. "this is so scary and mean!! i mean...what if he hates me? what if...what if he yells at me and i get sad and cry??" i groan and mess with my hair. "i really don't know, but we'll find out together very very soon. we-"
i immediately freeze, hearing the door of the living room opening. "he's here!!" i quickly whisper-shout and place the camera behind a few stacked books on the table. i sprint and slump on my bed, grabbing my phone swiftly to act occupied and immersed in something. my heart is beating at an abnormal pace and my hands are either shaking from excitement or anxiousness.
the door opens and hongjoong appears with his usual bright smile, despite a cloud of weariness floating above his head. "hi baby!" he says cheerfully.
i don't say anything back and keep a straight face, yet hongjoong doesn't seem to notice at first. he leaves his heavy bag on the floor with a loud thud and hangs his jacket swiftly, before taking a seat next to me with a deep sigh. he then rests his head on my shoulder and closes his eyes slowly. i try not to look down and remind myself of his evident eye bags, a pack of guilt unloading in my chest either way.
he pulls away to stare at me and pecks my cheek gently. "how was your day??" he questions softly. i continue to type nonsense on my phone, the silence killing me.
he lowers his head to meet my gaze, a few strands of blue hair falling on his eyes. "babe?" his voice is soft like cotton candy and even though i don't see him, i'm aware of how affectionate and fond his gaze is on me.
he waves his hand in front of my face. "babe??" he repeats, a bit louder this time, yet the softness is still there.
i turn my back on him, more because i feel like i'll break character any second now. he doesn't give up and continues, squeezing my arm delicately. "y/n, what is it?"
silence. my straight and stern face has got nothing to do with the current state of my beating heart.
"did i do something wrong?" he whispers. "because if i did, please tell me so we can talk about it." he starts running his hand up and down my arm.
i emit a forced sigh and throw my phone somewhere on the bed, staring at the wall blankly. i sense him tensing up, his touch on me becoming gradually slower and uncertain. "it is about me, right??" he sounds painful and disappointed in himself.
i clutch the sheets tightly to restrain my weak self from jumping into his arms. i get up abruptly and exit the room, trying to avoid hongjoong calling my name.
i walk into the wide living room and open the television, the loud chattering between two hosts not managing to mute my boyfriend's heavy footsteps. i glance at the recording camera that i've placed carefully behind a decorated picture, before hongjoong enters the room with a worried expression. his breathing is deep and fast.
"y/n..." he sighs. "please talk to me." he crouches down to meet my gaze and looks at me for a while. "is it because i'm late again? i'm so sorry my love. i was so busy today. please try to understand." his voice cracks and a part of my heart does too.
i keep staring nonchalantly at the screen, yet my mind is entirely occupied with hongjoong's genuine words. i feel regret and it's hard for me to reveal what i'm doing.
he sighs once again and takes a seat next to me, only a bit further away this time. i observe him fumbling with his fingers from the corner of my eye, a slight pout forming on his pink lips. the annoying sound of the television has faded away and guilt bottles inside me, the lid not even close to coming off.
i think about how calmly and respectfully he handles the situation and i can't even imagine that i doubted him. he's worn out, but he hasn't given up or left yet. he always puts me first. i'm about to end this, when he suddenly speaks with a small voice.
"i know that i'm not the best boyfriend..." he begins, swallowing deeply. "i know that i haven't offered you a lot and you deserve much more..."
the blood stops flowing in my veins. "joong..." i mumble, but he interrupts me.
"i know that..." he inhales deeply, his gaze at the floor intense. "i know that i can't make you as happy as other people can but..." he says with the softest voice ever. "i love you y/n."
"what??"
his head flinches at my voice, probably not having heard my first interruption. "what?" he asks back with red eyes.
i get closer to him, speaking promptly. "the thing you...you just said. say that again."
he pauses. "i...i love you." he confesses calmly, like it's the most natural thing in the world, like it's nothing new to him.
"i love you too hongjoong." i admit with a faint smile.
his eyes slightly widen, mouth agape with incredulity. "but you...you just-"
"it was all a prank hongjoong." i interrupt, taking his face in my hands. "i would never act that way towards you...ever."
he smiles gently, yet doesn't say anything.
"are you mad at me?" i ask with tearful eyes.
he places his hands on mine and whispers. "no...i can't get mad at you y/n"
we simultaneously lean in and kiss like the first time.
"but if this doesn't get five million views in a week, i'm breaking up with you."
we laugh wholeheartedly and go to bed together, falling asleep in each other's warm embrace. the camera doesn't record anymore, yet hongjoong treats me the same way as before. sweetly and genuinely.
