Inside Your Mind

37 - Shinsou

As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine

See me after class, Shinsou. That's what was scribbled below Kaori Shinsou's score on the mock exam. She really hadn't done well, but she knew exactly why. It wasn't much of a surprise that she had screwed this one up. Her grade was still good - but not for her standards.

Kaori wondered what Aizawa wanted. She really hoped he wasn't going to be all weird about everything. She was awkward enough for the two of them and she was genuinely sick of it. Especially since she would have to work with Aizawa soon and she didn't want to screw this internship up.

The last few weeks had just been eating away at her with Aizawa doing 180s regularly and the exams around the corner. Kaori was used to getting little sleep, but usually she just accepted that fact and made some good use of all that extra time she was awake. But right now, she was just stressed and wished she could sleep, so everything would be over much faster.

Unfortunately, life wasn't kind to her like that. Sleep was a luxury she just didn't have right now and she wouldn't be able to afford it until after the exams. She wouldn't really sleep, but at least she'd be calmer about it. She wouldn't feel like she was slowly but surely going insane.

It wasn't long until Aizawa was back and everyone in the class started asking questions. Kaori drew a blank when she thought about what to ask. She knew what she had to study, she had made a study plan (which she was hopelessly behind on) and the mistakes on the mock exam were clearly marked.

Focussing on everything was difficult for her. She still felt cold from being drenched to the bone and she was hungry, since she hadn't managed to eat much. She had a protein bar at home and an apple on her way from the library to class, after Hana had woken her up. Kaori hadn't even meant to fall asleep there, she was working through one of the chapters in her textbook, but apparently she was completely passed out when Hana got to her. No wonder they were late.

Why Aizawa was being such a dick about it was beyond her, but she could make a good few educated guesses. Obviously she hadn't done too well on her exam (which was partially due to Aizawa grading all her papers extra harshly). She had been late and was so tired that she was unnecessarily snarky about it. And he had most likely seen some of the fresh hickeys.

Well, if that upset him, it was tough on him. Kaori didn't owe him any explanation whatsoever. As far as she was concerned she could go out with whoever she wanted and have sex with whoever she wanted. That's what she kept telling herself, at least. The thing was - she did feel bad about it. She really should have listened to Hitoshi and been careful about Aizawa. Now she was in this whole mess and it probably wouldn't go away any time soon.

The time during class was passing extremely slowly and Kaori felt like she was hearing everything through some sort of wall, like it was far away. When it finally ended, she just stayed in her seat, not moving. She felt weirdly nervous about Aizawa telling her to stay after class. It wasn't unusual, but for some reason there was a constant underlying panic in her thoughts. Maybe it was the lack of sleep.

"Kao-chan, you coming?" she heard Uehara say. She turned her head slowly, looking over to her. Uehara had the most concerned look on her face, probably because she had found Kaori shivering her ass off in the library this morning, looking pale and sickly. Kaori could barely convince her that she didn't need to go to the nurse.

"No, I'm gonna need a minute. I'll meet you in the library later for another study session." she answered mechanically. She couldn't get herself to be any more enthusiastic than that. The amount of material she had to go through just felt overwhelming at this point, especially with how little time there was left.