Inside Your Mind

123 - Hitoshi Shinsou

You gotta know, I'm feeling love

He had done it. He didn't really know how and he didn't really understand why, but he had done it. Hitoshi Shinsou had made it into the basic training course. Not that he thought he deserved. He thought he did really badly, but apparently Aizawa didn't think so. Or he was afraid of him blackmailing him. Hitoshi really couldn't tell. Of course, he wasn't serious, but people seemed to have trouble realizing when he was joking and when he wasn't so... yeah. Both were possible.

Of course it wasn't official yet and all that and it still had to be confirmed and what not, but Aizawa did seem pretty confident. He'd have to ask Kaori later what he could get as a small gift to say thanks or whatever. Hitoshi wasn't good with that sort of stuff, anyway. Kaori would know better.

Hitoshi really wasn't happy with how he did out there. He knew he could have done much better, but he was nervous as hell and he had barely slept and neither of those things helped him much. The first bit wasn't even that bad, he just felt frustrated that he had spent so much time training and hadn't even been able to remember half of it, let alone use it. But at least he had done somewhat well.

But then the second bit. It was bad. It was weird. Everything bad happened. Hitoshi didn't really feel at all good about it. And he didn't even want to think about it, but apparently that part was what made Aizawa think he had earned his spot in the course. Well, he was happy he made it, but...

It seemed like so much all at once. And it felt weird still having to go to his Psychology classes when he knew he'd be in basic training next year. And right now he was kind of starting to doubt whether he even still wanted to be in basic training anymore. It just seemed like so much damn effort. All this hard work all that time and he was barely good enough for that course?

He was scared. He was fucking terrified. He had been trying to call Kaori after this. Several times. But she didn't pick up her phone and he was pretty sure that he had seen her head into Aizawa's office earlier. And he honestly didn't need to know what was going on in there. Surely they were... grading papers or whatever professors did with their TA's. Definitely not fucking. Nuh uh.

"Toshi!" he heard someone calling out for him. Hitoshi rolled his eyes and tried to suppress the smile that was threatening to spread all over his face. Damn it, not on campus. He was not going to be cheesy on campus.

"What do you want, Kaminari?" Hitoshi asked. God, why couldn't he just be normal about this? They were in a relationship, practically everyone knew about it, no one had ever said a bad thing about it. And still he couldn't bring himself to even be nice to Denki when they were in public.

"Congratulate you, of course! Looks like we might be in the same course next year!" he said excitedly, pretending not to notice how cold Hitoshi was being. Hitoshi hadn't even realized that until now, but... damn it. Denki was right. They might be in the same course next year and just the thought alone was giving Hitoshi anxiety. Would it be weird? What if they fought or broke up? Shit...

"Unless I'm in the other course." Hitoshi replied, ready to smack himself. With a fist. In the face. Why was he suck a fucking asshole when it came to people he liked? He didn't understand.

"Yeah, well, it'll still be cool. We can do assignments together and stuff, it'll be awesome!" Kaminari babbled excitedly. Hitoshi looked over at him talking on and on and on about his assignments and getting really excited, even though what he was saying was mostly really dumb.

But he had that excited little smile on his face and he was gesturing wildly and it felt like no matter how dumb what he was talking about was, he was so passionate about it, it almost electrified the air. And it made him look ridiculously cute, cuter than Hitoshi could have ever imagined.