c • r • u • s • h // ryland storms

• h a p p y b i r t h d a y - 2 •

" I just came here to give you your birthday present" he said with a smile. "Happy birthday Lana" he kissed me.

I stopped him. "Ryland I have a boyfriend. Leave or let me leave."

He looked at me into my eyes. "Yeah go and let him fuck you." he laughed. "He called you angel and lover. Cliche."

   As he left my arm I left the room and went downstairs. Jaden came near me. "What happened? You look not good."

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him to a place far away from crowd. For a second we had an eye contact with Mads and I called her too.
"Are you okay?" asked Mads.

"Ryland kissed me." I said. "He is high and he kissed me."

Jaden laughed. "I thought we were the only ones who is smoking in this party."

Mads looked at him. "Don't laugh." then she turned me. " Did someone saw you?"

I shaked my head to left and right meaning no.

"Good. Then there is nothing to worry about but I will go there and tell them party is over." said Jaden then he left.

When everyone started to leaving I went near Kio. He was sitting and talking with Griff and Anthony. I hugged him. He kissed my forehead.

"You are so sweet." said Anthony.

I looked at him and smiled. "When we will see you with a girl?"

"Soon I guess." he said and smiled shyly.

Griffin hit his head. "Why didn't you tell us? Speak."

"Okay, her name is Avani. She is a Tiktoker, you might know her."

" I know her." said Kio. "The makeup artist one. Why don't you bring her to our Halloween party?"

"Yes, she seems sweet, I wanna meet with her, so I can decide if she is good for my boi Anfony." I said.

  Anthony blushed. "Whatever guys, I'm gonna sleep."

  I winked at him. "Good night. Dream about her."

"I'm gonna go and take a shower." said Griffin and he left.

  "So there is only us. The smoker squad, huh?" said Bryce with a smile.

  He wrapped some weed and handed to me.

  "Why are you so obsessed with being rockstar?" asked Mads to me.

  "I don't know Mads. Probably you will never understand what I'm talking about you but whatever, there is always a type of person who is extremely untalented and unfortunated, that's me.
I don't have any skills, I'm not a good student, I'm not favorite child. I don't know why but I'm not like the others. I never fit in anywhere. Even in the kindergarten, I was different. When we learned the reading Addison was reading queen, she learned it fast and she got a medal. I couldn't read for 7 months and when I finally learned I read the words reverse. My parents always thought I'm stupid, they took me to physiologist and it turns out I'm really smart but bipolar. Then my parents gave their all attention to Addison. They just gave up on me easily. I never mentioned how I'm feeling to Addison, cause she is really sensitive and I don't want to make her upset. There is only one thing that I can tell I'm good at, it's singing. I'm using Tiktok
to get clout, then I will be a singer. But being rockstar is totally different. Don't you know the lyrics of rock songs. They are the best, they don't give a fuck about anything and anyone, they have money, they paid respect and they are always chilling, smoking, having fun... That's the way I wanna live." I said. I didn't even realize I'm crying till Kio wiping my tears.

   "I can understand how you feel." said Jaden. "You are the most vulnerable one so you made walls around of you, you are acting like you're the villain so they afraid of reaching you, you're acting like so strong so they think they cannot break you."

   "Exactly." I said. Kio hugged me. "And you are the only one I'm talking about this stuff. Even Addison doesn't know that I'm bipolar. Mom doesn't want her to learn cause it can affect her badly." I wiped my tears. "Thank all of you for making me feel like finally I'm belong to somewhere and someone.Mads, Jaden, Bryce and Kio, you are the only friends I have."

  After a few more hours of talking we went to sleep. Mads gave me one of her pajamas, I wore and slept with Kio.

  Before I fell asleep he hugged me and whispered to my ear. "I love you Lana."

  First of all Kio, love is a powerful feeling, I cannot say you I love you too cause even I'm not sure about that. Second one, it's already too hot, If you cuddled up with me all night I can't sleep. Third one is you don't need to say "I love you" in every three hours.

"Did you sleep?" he asked. Oh yes, if I pretend I'm sleeping I don't need to answer him. He kissed the back of my head and hugged me tighter.
For a few minutes I cuddled up with him but then, when he falls asleep I got rid of his arms and slept.