c • r • u • s • h // ryland storms

• n o a h b e c k •

25th August 2021

I woke up sunshine hitting my eyes. I looked at the clock to see the time:14.23.I turn left to get rid of sun and when I opened my eyes again I saw Ryland's face. He was sleeping, his long lashes shadow was on his face, his lips were pinkish and swallow, his curls was messy. He has the most beautiful face I've ever seen. I wrapped my left arm around his torso, I put my left hand on his face, started to caressing his cheek. He opened his eyes and smiled. "Morning babe."

"Afternoon actually." I said. "It's 14.23."He wrapped his arms around my waist and flipped us, went on top and pinned me to the bed. "Yes you should." he said and kissed me. I kissed him back giggling.

"I love you." I said looking at him into his eyes.
He didn't respond just kept staring, I get angry and get up from bed.

  I was going to my bathroom but I stopped when I heard his voice. "Marry me."

"What?" I turned my face to him.

"You heard it right. I said marry me." he came closer and wrapped his arms around my waist. "You're my main girl, I wanna be with you till death do us part.Just marry me."

It is so sad that I don't trust him enough to marry. How can I? He cheated on me again and again, once he told me he could stay with me forever once he told me he doesn't want to spend his life with a schizophrenic psycho bitch. Sometimes love is not enough, I need to trust you. Prove me Ryland I can trust you.

"We are too young for marriage." I said.

"Young? Are we? I'm 23, you'll be 21 in 2 months.It's 18 legal marriage age in California." he said.

"Ryland, marriage is something serious. Look at us, we are young and we don't know anything but parties, drugs, alcohol. We are living too fast, we are not ready to marry." I said holding his hands. "We need to grow up first."

"I don't understand, nothing will change between us. We are living in the same house already. Marriage won't make me love you less." he said.

Yes but it'll make hard to leave if you cheat. "Ryland just give me time. As I told you, I'm not ready for marriage. First I need to fix myself."

"Okay Lana." he said and I went into my bathroom. I took a quick shower then dressed up and went downstairs to the kitchen.

"Hey do you want coffee?" I asked while making coffee for myself.

"No, I can make my own coffee." he said.

"Did you just cop an attitude?" I asked. He didn't answer and went to living room.

"Fuck you Ryland, are you really not talking to me?" I said. He didn't answer again.

  "Asshole." I said and went upstairs to my room, I changed my outfit and left the house. I jumped into my car and called Mads.

  "Hey babe." I said. "Are you in your home?"

  "No, I'm at Sway with Jaden, why? What happened? Are you okay?" she asked.

  "Okay I'm coming.Just wait." I said and hanged up the phone.

————

  I arrived to Sway House, I parked my car and went in. I don't want to see Kio or Bryce, hope they are not in home.

  I called Jaden and told him to come to backyard.He came with Mads and Noah.

  I hugged them. "What happened?" asked Noah. "Mads said you didn't sound good."

"I might broke up with Ryland. Or he might broke up with me. Maybe we already broken. Fuck, I don't know if he broke up with me." I said and collapsed on the trampoline.