Lonely

Thirty-three

Derek

After Kea left Mike climbed on top of me. He placed my hands around his waist since I couldn't physically do it my self. He then took his hands and wrapped the around my neck.

"I love you" He said and I smiled. He looked down for a second and layed his head on my chest. "I use to cut" he said. "I'll drug my self to death until I was passed out on my bathroom floor" he said. "I was 14 when it started, I was bullied at school because I didn't have as much back then, my parents were struggling that was until my dad made his gang. Once money started rolling in I got everything I wanted but then everybody became jealous and wished death on me" He said again.

"That's when my addiction got worse, it started off by me swallowing a couples pills to me injecting my self. I'll go to the club and get head all the time but yet never fucked. I was going threw depression alone and I did everything to make it go away, but it never did" I looked down at him to see he was crying but he still had a straight face.

"That was until my mom died, after that I lost it, my dad kicked me out and I was on the streets for at least a year before I started grinding, Kea and Tay never new because I never told them. But eventually I got help and got clean but now I wanna go back and just forget how I feel like when I was younger'

He finished off. "I told you this because I love you and I won't you to know if I ever die it's either because I was murdered or I took my life" He said and I looked up. I didn't know how to respond, he just told me his story and It brakes me that I thought he was this perfect person, but now I know why he said 'its all just an act'.

I new Mike was going threw it but I didn't know like this. He was always smilling and I just thought because he was happy but really it was a mask hidding his emotions that no one would understand.

"I-I'm sorry" I said because I couldn't say anything else. I didn't feel his pain to understand it so there was nothing for me to say. "Yeah, that's what everybody says" he said getting up whipping his face. "Imma go get some food and I'll be back" He said and I nodded.

He grabbed his bag and gave me a kiss before leaving.

Mike

I wasn't going to get something to eat I was going back to the bridge but not to jump.
-

I walked up to the bridge and looked over it. I sighed sitting down and talking out my note book. I write down why I almost killed my self and what I was feeling, everything that happened to me and everything I've been threw.

After I was done I took out a box. The box was feeled with razors. I rolled up my sleeve putting the razor to my arm. Putting pressure on it I cut 3 straight lines watching by blood ouz out. I did the same for my other arm. I was satisfied with what I did, it made me feel calm and relaxed.

I just looked off into thin space, nothing in particular. The sound off the river below me sounded peicefull so I got up. I walked to the edge looking over it again. I wanted to jump but I wasn't.

So I turned around but seeing a person in a mask. He then moved his hands to my chest pushing me in.

"AHHHHHH!" I screamed until eventually everything went black.

----

Hey loves 😊

I started working on the new book but I'm not publishing it to after this book is over which should be by the end of this year😔

Also thank you all for 8k+ like who would have thought 😌 I'm thankful for all the love you guys show me in the comments, it makes me feel like y'all are a second family to me🤗

I care for all of you and I hope you no that💓

Dagger dick out ✌🏾