Lonely

Four

Derek

Soon after I left the house I made it to the trap after saying my good-byes to Mike and making sure he was ok. Now an hour later I was following JoJo and Taymor because they were ridding together but Jah rode with me because we decided not to take all 4 cars but it's strange because Bashar flew in his private jet and made is drive.

But that's not the point, the point was that Jah was pouncing around in his seat blasting music. "Stop all that" I said and he scrunched up his face. "Hush" He said and I rolled my eyes.

"You the one who better hush before I flip this car over and we both be dead" I threatened and he looked at me with a glare. "Don't do it nigger" He said and I chuckled. "Anyways have you told Mike about you and the gang" He side eyed me. "Nah, he just know I got a job" I said and he nodded.

"Did you take him to the doctor before you left" He asked. "Why would I do that" I said raising and eyebrow glancing at him a little but he just shook his head looking out the window."nun"

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It was midnight and we had finnaly made it to Florida safely and I was tired. We were gonna stay at the trap house down here which was a nice sized modern house that wouldn't cause much attention from it being in a small and quiet neighborhood.

We all got separate rooms which I was thankful for because I already hated being here with the niggas so if I had to share a room it would have been way worse.

But after packing I sat in the bed and did as I promised before I left which was to call Mike.

A few minutes past and he answered the phone. "Sorry bub I was in the bathroom" He said and I nodded."You made it to Florida yet" He asked looking at me threw the phone. "Yeah I'm sitting on the bed were gonna start work tomorrow" I said and he nodded propping up his phone what looks like to be on the bathroom counter.

"What you been doing since I left" I asked and he shrugged. "Nun, I talked to Kae and Tay earlier and there coming over with Melanie tomorrow" He said while taking out his contacts. "I don't get why you won't stop wearing those things" I said and he chuckled.

"I like them" He shrugged looking back at the phone. "Damn you making me hard" I said and he laughed. "I didn't do anything" He said but I smiled. "It's you being you that makes me hard" I said and he blushed. "Shut up wit that" he said and I grinned slightly.

"Ok fine" He nodded and sat on the bed and turned on the LED lights to white. "What you got on" He asked. "Some sweats and your hoodie" I said and he nodded. "Let me see" He said and I got up going to bathroom that was in the room.

I turned the camera around so he could see the outfit. "You look cute in my clothes" He said. "Can you pose for me" he said and I stuck out my tounge while he took the picture. "Nigga what the fuck" I jumped seeing Jah at the door. "Nigga get out" I said pushing him away.

"Is that Jah" Mike as with anger. "Nah it's the maid" I said and Jah smacked his lips. "Shut the hell up" I said and he shrugged. "Derek I swear-" I cut him off by hanging up the phone and turning it off completely.

"JAH WHAT THE FUCK!" I screamed and he laughed. "I had to do sum you were feeling ya self and it's better for you not to because JoJo and Tay will still hurt you no matter the circumstance" he said and walked away.

I Looked back at the mirror and then down. Am I really just a hoe to fuck and for everyone to use? Why does everyone think I'm so special? Nothing about me is special I'm a ugly piece of shit who should have died.

I don't even have actual family that loves me, the only people I have are my friends and Boyfriend. I'm not complaining I just need someone else to talk to.

All I wanted was a normal life, that's all I wanted nothing else but that. I don't wanna leave Mike alone but I can't do this anymore, I wanna die I can't stay here anymore I can't keep putting my self threw this and putting Mike threw this I can't continue hurting people.

So I did what will take the pain away at least just a little. 

I reached in my pocket seeing my pills for depression taking 6 out I swolowed them dry. Slowly I slid down the wall crying not knowing why but soon I fell asleep with a blank mind.

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