Jiley Oneshots

Anxiety [a]

This is a request :)

Riley looked at the mound of paperwork on her desk and couldn't comprehend how she was supposed to complete it all by the end of the day. She didn't even know where to start.

Being studio head was too much for her, she wasn't at all ready for it. It was too much responsibility.

Needing a break from her procrastination, Riley decided to go to the bathroom. As she was washing her hands she froze, looking at her reflection in the mirror. Water droplets on the glass distorted her image.

She held back a sob as she threw more water onto the mirror, completely soaking it and momentarily blurring her reflection from view. Then she cupped the cold water in her palms and splashed it onto her face.

Breath Riley she thought. Calm down.

The harsh, freezing water hitting her face was enough to wake her up a bit, but not enough to clear her mind. With a huff she dried her hands and face with a paper towel.

Riley shuffled back down the deserted corridor to her office in studio A, closing the door behind her. She slid her body back into her desk chair, feeling a sense of relief in her aching ankles as she did so.

Right. Where to start?

She looked again at the seemingly growing mountain of paperwork and felt an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness in her core. Inside her chest, Riley could feel her heart beating at an increasing rate. The more she focused on it, the more stressed she became.

Gripping the side of her desk with white knuckles, she felt suddenly claustrophobic in her tiny office. In her eyes, the walls around her were closing in.

No not here Riley begged her body, not here not now

She felt detached from her body as her head spun and she began to feel sick. Her breathing quickened until she was on the verge of hyperventilating as she tightened her grip on her wooden desk.

The world around her spun and Riley felt dizzy, relaxing her hold on the desk and hugging her knees to her chest. The anxiety that coursed through her veins made her feel tiny, hopeless and powerless.

~

Having received a confusing call from Emily saying that Riley hadn't come home yet, James pushed open the door the studio building and walked inside the empty halls. It was dark and no lights had been switched on, but James new he wasn't alone because the doors were not yet locked for the night.

"Riley?" He called as he entered Studio A. He approached her office door and saw his girl sobbing. She was ghostly pale in skin tone and was gasping for each breath as if it was a chore to breath.

"Oh Ri" he said, sliding over to her and scooping her into his arms. She didn't respond to his presence verbally, instead clinging onto his shirt and soaking it with tears.

Riley clung to the only source of gravity she felt, using James' body to stabilise herself in the dizzying room.

James sat in her chair, holding her body close to his as he soothingly stroked her hair.
"What's the matter baby girl?" He cooed, using a soft pet name to try and make her smile or blush. He got no such response.

"Riley look at me" he asked her, gently pushing her away and cupping her cheeks in his hands. "Breath... slowly. In and out. In and out"

Riley's lip trembled as she attempted to imitate his breathing. In and out.

"Good girl" James complemented her, "just like that, deep breaths in and out"
He used his thumb to caress her cheeks, occasionally wiping away the tears that fell from her eyes.

When Riley had regained control of her breathing, James pressed their foreheads together and looked lovingly into her eyes.
"You know I love you, right?"

Riley nodded tearfully, nestling into the hands that still cupped her cheeks. She held back another sob.

"Tell me what's wrong baby" James whispered, letting go of her cheeks and cradling her close to his body. Riley wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes.

"I can't do it" she murmured, helplessly.
James kissed her head, "can't do what baby?"
"Work"
"You can't do your work?" James repeated, looking around the office at the paperwork. "Would you like my help? We could do it together"

Riley pulled away from his warm embrace and her eyes welled up with fresh tears, "I can't do it James. I'm not Miss Kate"
"No you're not" James agreed simply. "You're Riley and you're just a capable. You're strong and talented and caring"

Riley shook her head disbelievingly. James nodded. "Would I ever lie to you?"
"About this" Riley cracked a small smile, "yes"

"There's my favourite smile" he consoled, encouraging her to smile again.

"I'm sorry" Riley apologised, feeing pathetic.
"What are you sorry for?" James frowned, "you haven't done anything wrong Ri"
Riley sighed heavily. "I feel like such a failure" she confessed.

"Riley" James said in a serious tone, "you could never be a failure. You are running the most elite dance company in the world, after a huge win last year. The pressure you have on your shoulders is crazy and you don't even have someone to rely on. Miss Kate never worked alone, she had Chris and Phoebe to help her. Stop beating yourself up, you're doing amazing"

Riley wrapped her arms around him "thank you for always being there for me"

"I'll always be there for you" James kissed her forehead, "just never be afraid to ask"

I totally relate Riley in this one... I just wish I had a James