Jiley Oneshots

Failure [a]

⚠️ warning sensitive topic ⚠️

Riley stared up at her bedroom ceiling with wide eyes. James lay snoozing beside her but she didn't want to wake him and cause him worry. The tears that lingered in her eyes blurred her vision in the already gloomy room.

Another cramp shocked her abdomen, this one causing her to curl up into a ball. She let the tears roll down her cheeks as she held herself. When the pain eventually subsided, she noticed that another pair of muscular arms were also cradling her.

"What's wrong baby?" James asked her in a croaky voice. He turned on his lamp and rolled her over so she was facing him.
Riley bit her lip and shook her head. She didn't know.

"Are you in pain?" He asked anxiously. "Is it the baby?"
Riley gulped and placed both her hands on her flat, 10 week pregnant belly.
"I don't know" she answered honestly. "I just woke up with cramps"

James sighed and pulled her into a tight hug. "It's okay, try to get some sleep. It might just be your body getting used to pregnancy"
Nodding hopefully, Riley snuggled into his embrace, closing her eyes. She heard James snap off the light and they both drifted off into an unsettled sleep.

The next morning, Riley woke up to an empty bed. She rolled over and sat up quickly when she noticed she was alone. Her fears were dismissed however, when James entered the room moments later carrying a tray.

"I brought you breakfast in bed" he smiled sadly, passing her the tray and perching on her side of the bed. "I think it's a good idea if you rest today"

Riley agreed, "yeah, I'll call Emily and tell her I have the flu and can't go into the studio"
James breathed a sigh of relief. Usually Riley was stubborn and would have refused to stay in bed.

The couple hadn't told anyone about their pregnancy since they found out nearly 6 weeks ago.

"I'm not going to band practice today" James soothed her.
"What? No James you should go. I'll be alright, I won't get out of bed I promise" Riley didn't want to be the reason he missed out on something he loved to do. Besides, when the baby came he'd rarely have time to spend with the band so she wanted him to make the most of it while he could.

James shook his head firmly, "no Ri"
Riley sighed, "go and have fun while you still can before the baby comes"
James looked reluctant but was interrupted by his phone ringing. He looked at the screen: John.

"Fine" he sighed, "but promise you'll call me immediately if you need me"
Riley pecked his lips, "of course"
"Alright then" he smiled, "I'll see you in a few hours. Have a good, restful day"

With another kiss, he left the bedroom and Riley heard him close the front door, leaving her alone. James arrived at band practice looking very distracted.

"You alright man?" Luke asked, noticing James' demeanour.
"What? Oh yeah, it's just Riley's a bit unwell so-"
The three boys snickered and James got defensive.
"What's funny?" He demanded.

Theo laughed, not realising James was angry, "only that you get so protective of her having a common cold"
"It's not a cold" James huffed. "Let's just play"

They weren't even half way through their first song when James' phone rang. He immediately dropped his drum sticks and picked up anxiously.

"James?" A small voice cried down the phone, "I need you"

~

James pulled up and jumped out of his car, sprinting to their apartment. He unlocked the door and ran frantically into their bedroom.

"Riley?" He called when he saw the bed was empty.
A quiet voice spoke from the bathroom behind him, "I'm in here"

James darted into the room and took a step back when he saw the sight in front of him. Riley was sitting in the bath tub, naked from the waist down as blood pooled around her.

"Oh Ri" he whispered, rushing to her side. He looked at the dark blood clots that were oozing out of her body and his worst fears were confirmed.
"I think I'm losing the baby"

James closed his eyes to process the devastating news before he wrapped his arms around her shaking frame.
"God Ri" he let slip.

Riley avoided eye contact with him as she sobbed, "I'm s-sorry"
James placed his index finger under her chin and guided her head up to look at him. "Don't be sorry, this isn't your fault"

"Are you in pain?" James asked as he watched her face crumple.
"Like really bad period cramps" Riley mumbled, "nothing I don't deserve though"

James looked at her with alarm, "deserve? What do you mean Ri?"
His own eyes welled up with tears.
"I f-failed" she sobbed, "my body is supposed to carry children and it can't even do that"

"Riley you cannot blame yourself" James pointed out, "sometimes these things just happen"
He kissed her temple and felt her body tense up as another cramp came.

"I was so excited to be a mother" Riley looked up at him with tears running down her cheeks.
"I know baby" James comforted her, "and you will be one day, I promise. We can try again when you feel ready. If not, there are loads of other options to make you a mother"

"I'm sorry my body failed you"
"It didn't" James said firmly, "your body is incredible and I'll be blessed when it does have my babies one day"
Riley nodded tearfully and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Let's go to the hospital?" James suggested, rubbing soothing circles on her back. He wiped her down with a damp towel and helped her get out of the bath. He watched as she pulled on her underwear and stuck a large maxi pad in it.

Half an hour later, Riley lay in a hospital bed while James paced up and down.
The doctor that arrived had a grim facial expression before he spoke. Riley's eyes welled with fresh tears when he confirmed she'd lost the baby.

After an informative conversation during which they were given lots of advice, the couple left the hospital hand in hand.
"I do want to try again" Riley whispered as they climbed into their car. James took her hand in his and squeezed it. She paused and continued speaking, "but I want to wait a bit"

James kissed the back of her hand "we can wait as long as you need baby"

~

It was two years later when a high pitched wail echoed around the clinical room.

"Congratulations you have a beautiful baby girl"