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24- Legilimens

The next day everyone was talking.
Everyone. I could hear them whispering and gasping every time one of us walked in the corridors. By us I meant Slytherins.
Half of Slytherin had death eaters as parents. It was no surprise that everyone was talking.
It was all over the daily prophet.

Blaise was right when he said things would change. Hogwarts was definitely not the same.
It was divided. The atmosphere was tense and it was unnerving. It was like nobody trusted anyone anymore.

I kept hearing my last name in people's mouths, they were staring at me and I was starting to lose it. I was panicking I don't know why, it felt like I couldn't breathe all of a sudden. I stopped and loosened my tie and tried to breathe but I couldn't.
I felt someone grab my arm and I turned to see it was Blaise.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel like I can't breathe Blaise."

I could hear a ringing in my ears and it felt like I was disconnected from my body, like I wasn't in my own body, like I was watching through someone else.

"I think you're having a panic attack."

He grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the castle.

"What's happening to me?" I asked panicked and he sat me down on a bench.

"Calm down, close your eyes focus on your breathing."

I closed my eyes and tried doing what he was saying. Soon enough the ringing stopped and my heart stopped racing and I opened my eyes.

"It's alright, it happens sometimes." He said calmly and I took off my tie feeling suffocated.

"Why wouldn't you tell me? I knew something was off."

"What would I have said? Hi Blaise how are you, by the way my parents are death eaters. What was telling you gonna do?"

He didn't know what to say and I sighed, rubbing my face. I heard someone say Avery and dark lord in the same sentence again and I was about to lose it.

"Ignore them."

"They're pissing me off, they don't even know me, it's not like I chose my parents. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like my brain's about to explode."

"We should find Draco, he's probably in a state."

"Yeah."

We walked back into the castle and searched for him. We found him in the common room.

"You too?" He asked and I nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you?"

No one spoke for a few seconds.

"Both of them?"

"Dunno, only saw his. Don't know if she is or not. You?"

"Just him."

We sat on the sofa next to him and I sighed.
"We should only speak to Slytherins from now on." Draco said and Blaise nodded in agreement.

"Yeah." I said agreeing with them.

We had Transfiguration so we didn't stay in the common room for long.
"Can I sit next to River?" I asked bluntly.
In my mind I was still pissed at McGonagall.
I don't know why, maybe I just needed someone to blame, someone to keep my anger directed at, so I didn't have to think about the harsh reality of what happened.
He crucio'd me. He did.
It wasn't her fault. Not really, but I couldn't help it, I couldn't help that I was angry with her.