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71- Healing

Brighton, East Sussex.

"We've conquered all there is here, I think we need to go elsewhere."

"Oh but it's sound here, grown to like the beach and whatnot." I complained, tugging at his arm to stop him from starting the car, I was being a tad bit clingy, though the fact that I was wasted was to blame for that.

"Take your pick. Bristol or Newcastle. I've heard geordie birds are fit." He snickered, flicking my fingers off of him.

"Well I can see plenty of fit lads here. Let me stay. You go."

He rolled his eyes at my drunken state and ended up flinging me over his shoulder.
I burst out laughing as he carried me and put me in the car.

"Actually I've just remembered I've got to go back to London for this weekend. Blaise needs my help with something."

"Help with what?"

"Never you mind."

Whoever it was who had planted that singular bag on my desk, whoever it might have been, well they had succeeded in whatever it was that they wanted.

It wasn't because of my last encounter with Remus, as many would like to believe.
The minute I had seen it in front of me, that was it.
The damage had already been done.

It had been months, I hadn't been in London, I hadn't seen Remus, or Tonks or Sirius. I chose to ignore all of their existences.

See, I wasn't at that stage of my recovery where I could be strong enough to withhold.
No, I wasn't there yet.
As soon as I left, all I thought about was it.
Day and night.

Until, I gave in, and ruined my life again, once again, on my own accord.

That's how I found myself in this sticky situation with Adrian. I dropped everything, the minute I turned up at his doorstep.

I don't even know truly why I went to him.
I don't even like him.

But I did anyway, and it went like this;

"What brings you here?" He asked, a smug look on his face that he always seemed to have.

"This was a mistake." I said turning around ready to leave.

"Good stuff or just for fun?" He blurted out making me snap my head back.

I didn't respond and he smiled.
"Good stuff then."

Inside my brain my thoughts tugged, battling between right and wrong.
The rational part told me that I had been doing so well, that I didn't need to ruin this, that this was the something that I had finally sorted out myself and that I didn't need to throw it all away.
That I was stronger than this.
The other part ached and begged and yearned for it.
Telling me that I would be fine because I was stronger than before, I could handle it this time, I had grown used to it and that I could keep it under control.

"Well come on then." I said finally and his smile turned to a grin as he let me in.

"Do you want me to do it or..?"

"You just do it." I said quietly as I sat besides him.
He poured out the white powder on the table in front of us.
Sectioning it out into two lines with a random credit card he had laying around.
He summoned a piece of parchment, rolling it carefully before passing me it.