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36- Stevie Nicks

Draco stiffened and his face was unreadable.
For the first time ever, I couldn't tell what he was thinking. I watched him carefully trying to read his reaction.

Nothing.

There was nothing there, his expression was blank. Blaise just rubbed his face anxiously as all three of us walked back to the common room.

"Did you see him?" Blaise asked and I nodded.

"Barely. Apparated before I could see anything else but it was him. He's back. He's got death eaters on command. There was loads of them."

They didn't say anything else as we walked into their dorm. I sat down on the floor, leaning against the foot of Draco's bed, rubbing my face as I tried to decipher my thoughts.

"Is Hogwarts even safe anymore?" I muttered, I was kind of asking myself but Blaise answered for me.

"Probably not. But Hogwarts is probably our best bet. Dumbledore's here." Blaise answered and I sighed deeply.

No one spoke and we sat in silence for a few minutes before Draco fidgeted about with putting away the things on his desk, the sounds of things tapping on wood breaking the silence. He hadn't spoken once.

I laid on the floor, staring up at their ceiling as Draco rolled a spliff, taking a drag before passing it to Blaise. Blaise laid down next to me sighing and eventually Draco laid down on the other side of me too.

All three of us passed the spliff between us in silence as we laid there. No one dared to break it. The air was thick with an unsettling tension and I had that feeling. In my gut.
Like the world was about to end.

My mind went to Nadir and what he had done.
How he had seen me there on the other side and immediately without hesitation saw me as the enemy. I hadn't even had the chance to explain. He saw I was with Harry and assumed.
It wouldn't be long before the rest of them found out and they'd label me a blood traitor.

My mind flashed back to his hands. His coarse, callused hands as they went under my shirt, I got up, suddenly feeling the urge to be sick.

"I'm going to sleep." I said quickly looking down at the blonde and the dark skinned boy on the floor.

They didn't say anything and I rushed out of their room, making my way down to my own.
I opened the bathroom door and knelt down in front of the toilet, my hands bracing the wall, eyes watering as my mind kept flashing back to his mouth on my ear.

I didn't actually need to be sick, I just felt it.
I didn't physically throw up. I leaned against the cupboard by the toilet and put my head in my hands.

I became hyper aware that I was still wearing my uniform and I hastily ripped it off of my body, dropping it on the floor before looking into the mirror that was stuck on the wall on top of my sink.

I stared at my reflection for a few seconds and I felt tears prick at my eyes.
I felt dirty.
Disgusting.

Suck it up.

I turned the shower on and got in.

I lathered soap and scrubbed at my skin, again and again and again until it was red and sore.
My tears mixed with the stream of water above me and I sobbed out. I allowed myself to cry, to let it all out because I made a vow that once I had left the shower I wasn't going to cry again. I was just going to suck it up.

I got out and got changed into baggy sweats and dried my hair, leaving my uniform unattended on the bathroom floor. I forced my mind not to think of it. Not to think of the way he yanked my tie down, the way he unbuttoned the top three buttons. The way his hands roamed my abdomen, before roughly putting them down my skirt. The way his lips were against my skin as I squirmed and struggled against him.