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31- Games

I was giddy, annoyingly giddy. The kind of giddy that's so annoying that if I was anyone else I'd want to punch me. I was all cheerful
Way too cheerful.  It was like I was constantly smiling everywhere I went, it was insufferable.

"What is wrong with you? Why are you all jolly and positive?" Draco asked pulling a face as we walked down the corridor to go to Snape's lesson.

"I'm changing my outlook on life. My perspective, even."

"I don't like it. It's weird."

"It's weird that I'm happy?"

"Yes." He said bluntly and we walked in parting ways to go to our different desks.

It was weird that I was happy, but not for the reasons that Draco was saying it. I had been happy like that before, it was the sort of happy you were when you had a crush and you saw everything through rose tinted glasses. But the state of my life was a shambles so I really shouldn't have been that happy.

My parents were death eaters, I was most likely going to be a death eater, I was more than certain I was suffering from PTSD or maybe it just the effects of a cruciatus curse and most importantly there was a war coming.
I shouldn't have been so happy.
I should have been scared and stressed and anxious and I was, deep down.
But he had kissed me and that was all I could think about.

"You know that day in Venice when we drove around in that muggle car?" Blaise asked as he sat down next to me.

"Yes?"

"I told you we needed insurance."

"Well don't you have insurance here? I'm sure that you just need insurance here and then it works everywhere in Europe."

"No why would I have insurance? I'm not a muggle, I don't know about this stuff."

"Well neither do I, so why are you shouting at me."

"Because it was your genius idea and now I have to pay."

"Chill out I'll pay you."

"No I don't want your money."

"Then shut up."

"You shut up."

"Silence."

We both stopped our bickering as Snape started his lesson. I knew something was wrong with me when I didn't even mind bickering with Blaise and the sound of Snape's monotone voice.

It was strange.

I couldn't help thinking about him.
I wanted to see him but I also didn't want to come across as desperate and we had his lesson third period. I'd have to wait at least two days before I went out of my way to see him.
That way I wouldn't look all needy and like I'd been thinking about him all the time even though I was. I was thinking about him constantly, it was quite pathetic really.

It was like I felt all the normal feelings like you would when you had a crush, except he wasn't a normal guy. He was my teacher.
The thought of us having to hide was sort of exciting, it was like a thrill. It was different, not like anyone else I had ever been with before.
This time I had to put some work in, every other time I just got what I wanted.

I liked it, the chase, the game.

The staring in the corridors, the slight smirks, the barely there touching.

The game was the fun part and I was having a whole lot of fun.

It was the only the early stages but it made me start to do things I wouldn't normally do.