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55- Friends with Benefits

It took me a minute to register where I was.
I was about to ask Remus if he was okay, because his body was cold against mine and his body temperature was always hotter than normal. I realised quickly then, when I opened my eyes to see much paler skin besides me, that it wasn't him laying next to me but Draco.
I panicked, full of regret and it had felt like I cheated.

"Oh no."

He stirred in his sleep and I lifted the covers to confirm everything that had happened last night. I was right, we were both naked and I almost jumped out of the bed. He woke up finally, and he looked just as confused to see me laying besides him, his features relaxed in realisation and I yanked the covers up to cover myself.

"Oh god, oh god oh god oh god."

He didn't know what to say as I panicked looking down at my body, his marks blended with Remus' and he stared at me carefully.

"We did it.. oh my god Draco we.... we actually did it."

There were times growing up that I wondered what we would be like together but I never, never thought that we would actually cross the line. Memories of last night flooded my brain.
Him pushing me against the wall, my hands twisting in his hair roughly as he yanked my shirt off, both of us stumbling towards the bed.

It was a stark contrast to Remus, he was a stark contrast to Remus, with his cold hands and his cold rings and his bed and his room, it was all just very different, but so familiar at the same time.

It was strange because I always knew Draco was attractive, but I never saw him like that, ever and no matter how much he flirted with me as a joke I knew he never saw me like that too. His body wasn't the same awkward figure it was at 14 or 15 he had obviously matured, he was a man now. His features had changed over the years, his jaw strong and defined, his hands wider and rougher, his chest broader and he had muscles in places he never used to.

Still, it just felt like Draco.

I stopped wondering because he interrupted my thoughts.

"Fuck." He breathed out as he also processed what the fuck had happened.

It was almost like he was afraid to look at me.
Merlin knew why, because he had seen every part of me now, there was no point in being modest. Still his eyes averted to the wall behind me, even though the covers were hiding my body. He snapped out of it momentarily, seeing that I was glaring at him.

"We erm.. we..."

His chest heaved and he ran a hand through his hair, unsure of what to do, he didn't know what the right thing to say was and I could tell he was waiting on my instruction.

"Not a word of this to anyone." I said and he finally made eye contact with me.

"Merlin, I'm... I'm supposed to be heartbroken over Remus. I am heartbroken over Remus." I stated truthfully and he nodded quickly, but his eyes kept flickering to my lips and I was sure mine did too.

"Yeah, no. It was just a.. you know.. you were sad." He explained slowly, his eyes fully focused on my lips now and I felt my breath hitch.

"Yeah. I'm sad, I'm.. still.. sad." I agreed but I felt myself drawing closer to him, until our bodies were touching again.

"It was good.. no?" He whispered, one hand at the small of my back whilst the other hand reached to cup my cheek.

Yes it was good.
Really fucking good, but it's not supposed to be good because I'm me and you're you.
You're just Draco.