I'm No Good At Goodbyes

Chapter 44

Sierra's POV

"So how are you doing?" Jodie asked me, wasting no time getting into conversation as she sat herself comfortably on the chair that seemed so uncomfortable when Rich and Austin sat themselves in it. I smiled at her as I took a minute to readjust myself in my bed, putting the back up a little more so I was sitting more comfortably to be able to talk with her. I took in a deep breath letting it out quickly as I looked at her, tilting my head back and forth slowly.

"You know, as good as I can be. I'm awake and I'm alive so I guess I can't ask for more" I laughed looking over at her. "How is Trevor?" I asked with a wide smile, my eyes getting big and my eyebrows raised, even though you were barely able to see that small feature due to the thick white bandage covering the top of my head.

She let out a smile as she rested her head back against the pink leather of the high back chair. "He is doing great sweetie. Austin is doing such an amazing job with him. He was so nervous the first night that he came home and had to tell him that you were in the hospital. He was struggling on the inside about what to tell him" she said with a shy smile as she brought her left hand up focusing her attention on the rings on her ring finger for just a second before she continued. "But when he sat with him, it came out of him in such a fatherly way. He was so soft spoken, and he talked to him in a way that a boy his age would understand. It was so sweet Sierra. He loves him so much" she smiled, putting both of her hands back on her legs which were folded underneath her.

I turned my head to face the TV as a huge wave of guilt washed over every fiber of my being. I can't believe how upset I got with him about the dinner situation. I shouldn't have stayed mad at him for so long. Deep down I knew that he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize us, but I let my stubbornness get the best of me. I felt a tear escape from my eye as I quickly wiped it away with my hand.

"Sierra are you okay sweetie?" Jodie asked me, leaning forward in her chair as she reached her arm out to gently rest on my leg. I nodded my head making sure that all the tears were wiped away before I turned to look at her.

"Yeah I'm okay" I smiled at her shyly, causing her own smile to form on her face as she tilted her head at me.

"If this is fine, than I must be floating on a cloud. What's bothering you honey" she said with a laugh, getting up off of the chair and gently sitting on the end of the bed.

"It's all my fault that I'm like this, that I'm here. Austin tried to take the blame for it, but he had nothing to do with this. If I wasn't so stubborn and went home instead of staying with you guys for a few days after the whole incident with Melo at his house this wouldn't have happened. If I wasn't so stubborn and just stopped to listen to him when he tried to explain to me why Melo was at our house the night of my accident this wouldn't have happened. And if none of this happened, he could already be Trevor's Dad and we would already be well on our way to starting our perfect little family" I said starting to cry despite myself.

"Oh honey no. Neither of you should be taking the blame for any of this. Everything that happened was such a huge misunderstanding, but all that matters is that the both of you pulled through it and you are still together and you are still happy" she said to me, her eyes glancing across mine slowly as if she was trying to see if I believed what she was saying to me. I nodded my head at her, although I wasn't going to stop taking the blame for this in my own head.

"Well regardless, it doesn't seem like it is stopping Austin" I laughed, starting to become nervous for what I had to tell her. She looked at me with amusement written across her face as she shook her head back and forth slowly.

"What are you talking about" she said with a laugh.

I took a deep breath as I looked at her with a smile. "So we have made some decisions since I have been here, well I guess you can say that one was made before I even got here" I laughed, remembering when Austin had told me he wants to have a baby the night we went swimming in the pool.