I'm No Good At Goodbyes

Chapter 34

I got out of the shower feeling more nervous then I have ever felt before. I know that we had to have this conversation, but I was so nervous that she would want to leave me after she heard what I had to say to her.

I walked into my closet pulling out a light pair of jeans and a striped long sleeve shirt. Walking back into the bathroom I sprayed on her favorite cologne before walking satisfied.

SiSi 🥰😘
hey austin i'm on my way over

Ocean Eyes 😘💋
okay SiSi. I love you baby. Be careful.

SiSi🥰😘
i love you too Austin.

Even though I know she hadn't heard my explanation to why I did what I did, seeing her tell me that she loves me made me feel like everything really was going to be okay.

I went out to the kitchen and started to cook the steaks so they would be ready when she came. I pulled a bottle of wine out of the fridge and poured us each some setting both the glasses on the table when I saw her headlights pull into my driveway.

I quickly went over and shut off the steaks and walked to the door. I opened it up and stood outside, my hands in my pockets as I waited for her to make it up the stairs. She stood one stair below me, her eyes red and swollen looking up at me, breaking my heart into pieces. 

"Hey Ocean Eyes" she said quietly, her eyes quickly adverting from my gaze as she pushed some of her hair behind her ears. 

"Hi SiSi" I said to her, her eyes cutting up to look at me. 

"Austin" she said, tears slowly flowing down her cheeks. 

I stepped down and wrapped her in my arms, her body shaking slightly in my arms. I let her cry for a moment before I pulled away from her, my thumbs wiping at the tears that were forming under her eyes. 

"Si, I am so sorry. I am so sorry baby" I said to her as she looked up at me and shook her head back and forth. 

"Why?" she asked me almost inaudibly. 

"Si come inside. I have dinner for us. We can talk then I don't want to have this conversation on our front steps" I said to her. 

"Is there still an our Austin?" she asked me raising her eyebrows. 

"There is in my book Sierra, as long as you still want that" I said to her. 

She didn't respond to me, she just stared passed me blankly a pit forming in my stomach. I decided to ignore her silence as I grabbed her hand. She was reluctant for a moment, but she relaxed into my touch as I laced my fingers with hers and guided her into the house. 

I let go of her hand as I walked over to the stove, grabbing the steaks off of the pan and placing them on a plate and taking them and the rest of the food over to the small table. I walked back over to her as I saw her face soften slightly . 

"Austin, did you do this all yourself?" she asked with a smile. 

"I did Si. I had to make it up to you. I am so sorry. I know it doesn't even remotely make up for blowing off last nights dinner but I thought it would be a start" I said as I walked up to her and rested my hands on her waist. 

"You're right. Last night was supposed to be something really special, something that solidified to me that we were ready to be a family" she said quietly as she started to retreat back behind her wall. 

"Si no don't do that, don't hide on me. I'm sorry I hurt you, I know what I did was wrong. But we're ready to be a family Si" I said, my hands moving up and down her sides.