I'm No Good At Goodbyes

Chapter 54

We slowly walked into the kitchen, my hand held tightly in his as he stopped in front of the island, picking me up as he sat me gently on the cold marble countertop, his body fitting comfortably between my legs as he rested his hands on my thighs giving them a tight squeeze. He leaned in slowly pressing his lips firmly against mine as my eyes fluttered closed at the connection, my arms wrapping lazily around his neck as I let myself get lost in the feeling, this kiss bringing a calm to me that I was craving since this horrible thing had happened.

He pulled away moments later before the kiss could get too intense, his forehead resting against mine as our eyes wandered each others both of us desperate to seek the feelings that were brewing deep inside the others mind, a feat that I was normally brilliant at, only this time I wasn't able to break through the tough walls that he had built up around his emotions a reaction I have never seen from him.

I smiled at him shyly removing my hands from around his neck as I gently cupped the sides of his face, my thumbs rubbing over the tattoos inked on his skin as he closed his eyes at the touch letting out a deep sigh. "Baby don't do this" I said to him, my eyes taking on a sad yet serious look as he gazed deeply into them.

"Do what Si?" he asked with an exaggerated laugh, his strong inked hands running slowly on the tops of my thighs as he maintained his gaze with mine.

I smiled at him as I put a soft kiss to his lips, pulling away slowly as our lips briefly stuck together. "Austin, you know that I have always had the ability to read you like a book. It may take me a few minutes but I can always tell what you're thinking or feeling" I said with a chuckle as I tilted my head just slightly, my new position letting me study him in a new way.

"How could I forget Si, I could never hide anything from you" he laughed, his right hand coming up as he lightly grabbed onto my chin between his thumb and forefinger.

"Well, I don't know how you did it baby but you've subconsciously put a wall up that I can't get through no matter how hard I try" I said sadly, my look resonating on my face as he gazed at me. "I don't want you to put that wall up baby, I don't want you to feel like you have to hide what you're feeling from me" I said with a small hesitation in my voice. "We need to be open with each other if we are going to get through this together baby. You don't need to pretend that this isn't killing you and you don't need to show your emotions in secret" I said, my eyes roaming across his face as the realization that I had caught on to what was happening with him instantly showed across his face.

He shook his head a sad look in his eyes as he ran his hand over his shirt hair, looking away from me briefly before connecting his eyes with mine again. "Si I wasn't trying to do that baby. I'm sorry I" he started shaking his head again as he started rubbing anxiously at his jaw.

I grabbed at his hand pulling it to my lips as I pressed a soft kiss to it before lacing my fingers in the empty spaces between his. "Austin, you've done so much for me since you've met me. Now let me be here for you. Let me be the one that gets you through this. Please baby" I said a hint of desperation in my voice as my eyes pleaded with his.

He was quiet as his gaze was looking over me at something far in the distance, his hand resting gently on my thigh as our other hand were still tangled together. I felt him squeeze it a little tighter as a shine started to develop over his eyes. I went to reach up for his face when he turned away from me walking over towards the dining room table. He rested his hands on the back of a chair as he leaned against it looking out the large floor to ceiling windows over the mountains. I gave him just a minute before I pushed myself off of the countertop and walked over towards him.

I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly pressing soft kisses against his back through the fabric of his shirt, hoping that holding him close to me would help settle whatever emotions were brewing deep inside of him.