All I Have Is All You Gave To Me [Young!Aizawa x Reader]

85 Head Like A Hole - Nine Inch Nails

- Aizawa POV -

Head like a hole

Black as your soul

I'd rather die than give you control

She didn't show up to class. I knew that F/N and I had had our differences lately and I knew that I probably wouldn't be the first person that she would tell if there was something going on, but... I still cared about her. I really, really cared about her. And I only realized when she wasn't showing up that morning. No one really knew where the hell she was - she hadn't called in sick, she wasn't at her work study, she hadn't told anyone where she was. So our teacher left the class alone to see whether he could find out anything from her family or whatever.

In the meantime I was getting more and more worried. All I had to go on was that she apparently called Hizashi twice last night and right after she called me once. We both tried calling her, but she didn't answer her phone. I checked the news basically everywhere to see if Alley Cat was maybe involved in some weird business, but all I could find was news about some drug bust.

And that had been all over the last week and apparently it all had gone well, so where the hell was F/N? I was staring down at my desk, having an internal crisis, because... well, that call she had given me in the middle of the night... I had seen it, but I didn't want to answer, because I thought she was going to try and lecture me about something again and I wasn't feeling up for that.

But what if she needed help? What if she was in danger? And I hadn't picked up the phone, because I got annoyed by my girlfriend telling me what to do. And it wasn't even like what she told me was stupid or anything, I knew that she was right with what she said, I just wasn't ready for any of that stuff yet. But now... fuck, what if I lost her? What if she was gone forever?

"Hey, Shou, are you okay?" I heard someone whisper before they nudged me. I glanced over and saw Hizashi giving me a worried look. I had no idea he could actually be this quiet and any other time I would have been ecstatic about that, but right now I couldn't bring myself to care.

"What the fuck do you think?" I replied. Hizashi nodded slowly and I immediately felt bad about it. Of course he was worried about her, too. After all he had been a much better friend to her over the last few months than I had been. Damn, I would be surprised if she even wanted to be with me anymore. I was failing her. I was completely and utterly failing her right now.

"Right. Shou, please don't tell me you're blaming yourself." Hizashi muttered. I gave him a glare.

"And why the hell wouldn't I blame myself? It's my fault. Who knows what happened to her? I sure don't know what she's been doing the last few months, because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. God, I'm such an idiot." I replied, burying my face in my hands. This wasn't good. None of this was going to help anyone, but I couldn't really come up with anything better to do.

"Okay... okay... well, if you blame yourself that's not going to help F/N. Did you try sending her a text?" Hizashi wanted to know. Did he think I was stupid? I sighed and got out my phone.

"Of course I did. Here, look. It didn't even deliver. Her phone's dead." I answered, before taking the phone back. Maybe something had happened and she didn't have time to charge her phone?

"This is bad. Should we go and tell the teacher? What are we going to do, Shou? I can't get over the fact she tried to call me twice, she must have been in some sort of trouble. And I ignored it, cause I thought I was just imagining it..." Hizashi mumbled. I sighed and shook my head.

"I'm going to try again. I guess if her phone is still dead, we... I don't know, maybe we can ditch class and see whether we can somehow retrace her steps from the agency or something... Something is off about this and I have a really bad feeling." I muttered, as I dialled her number. The phone went straight to voicemail again. So her phone was definitely off.

"Nothing. Come on, let's go." I whispered to Hizashi, as I quickly packed up my stuff and got up.

"What...? Shouta, we can't just..."

"Yeah, we can. Come on. We'll see if we can find anything and then we'll drop by Purple Agency and get some sort of permission to go after this. Everyone there is super chill, so it'll be fine."

"Are you actually fucking serious about this, Shou?" Hizashi asked, as he quickly packed up his things. I just shrugged and started heading out of the door. People were looking but I couldn't care less.

"Where are you going?" Maiko wanted to know, as I was opening the door. I turned around with a forced smile.

"Don't feel that good, so I'm going home." I just replied to which she shook her head and sighed.

"Hey, don't do anything stupid, okay? She'll kill me if anything happens to you, because I didn't properly take care of you. So be careful whatever you do." Maiko said. I just scoffed and nodded.

As if I had any time to be careful. F/N was somewhere out there, probably in some sort of danger and it was my fault, because I was too much of a coward to pick up my phone. Because I was too caught up in my self-pity. I had to go and find her and make sure she was okay.

I was also way too dumbfounded by the fact that it had only now occurred to me how much I loved this girl. Thinking about the very real possibility of losing her just like I had lost Oboro was making me feel sick. I couldn't stand it. If that had already happened... well, I had no idea how to go on. I probably just wouldn't, because... what even was the point? I clearly couldn't protect the people I cared about.

"Shouta, wait up! We're going to get in so much trouble for this!" Hizashi yelled, as he ran after me through the hallways. I just looked back at him. Why the hell did he even care about that?

"So? I'd rather get in trouble and get expelled from UA, than to see F/N in a fucking bodybag. Hizashi, we didn't even properly talk to each other one last time. I can't just let her die. I have to go and do something or I'll... I'll never be able to forgive myself. It's... it's only rational."

"Right. Okay. You love her, she's your girlfriend, I get it..."

"I don't even know if she's still my girlfriend, Hizashi! I seriously don't care about anything else, but I need F/N back! You obviously don't get it!" I replied, getting annoyed with him protesting like that. Why didn't he just stay back if he didn't want to come with me and help me?

"I do get it, Shouta, I do! Just... we need to be careful with this, so we don't make things worse in the end, okay? Please just don't go in there without thinking, because you might end up putting her in more danger than she's already in. If she's even in some sort of danger, we don't even fucking know that yet!" Hizashi protested. I took a deep breath. He was right.

"I know. I know. We'll... we'll go to her agency. I'll call her parents on the way and ask if they have seen her anywhere. And if they haven't we'll ask at the agency whether they know of anything. And if they don't... well, maybe we can check the way from the agency to her home to see if we can find any clues or anything. Is that a good plan?" I asked. Hizashi smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. That's a very good plan. Let's go then, the less time this takes, the better." he said with a grin.