One day you will understand
Why I pushed you away as I am
And you will find a better man than I am
Trust, I'm doing you a favor, doing you a favor
"I really don't think this is a good idea..." Shouta said, as we were walking towards his home. He had finally agreed to let me meet his parents and while I wasn't too thrilled about the prospect (considering they seemed to be terrible people), I wanted to get this over and done with.
"Come on, Shou, how bad can it be?" I wanted to know. I knew that his parents treated him terribly, but I kind of doubted they'd actually attack him in front of me and they were even less likely to attack me. After all, I was a complete stranger. It would be too risky, right? ... Right?
"You have no fucking idea, (F/N)... Anyway, here we are. This is where I live. Mostly." Shouta replied, as we stood in front of the huge high rise building. I gulped. This was the infamous social housing, huh? Honestly it looked pretty run-down and depressing. People actually lived here? I didn't want to admit it, but it was quite a culture shock. I had grown up pretty sheltered after all...
"Alright. Well, let's do this." I answered and faked a smile. I really wasn't so sure whether this was a good idea anymore. But it was too late now. Shouta opened the door and we walked through a hallway with a bunch of mailboxes on the wall. Half of them had more or less been ripped off the wall.
"Okay, look, not all social housing is like this, (F/N). This is just... a particularly bad example..." Shouta muttered and pressed the button to call down the elevator. I took his hand.
"Hey, no need to explain anything to me. It's fine, Shou." I replied and squeezed his hand a little. He gave me a small, grateful smile and held the elevator door open for me. There was a really weird smell once we stepped inside, but I decided not to say anything. And also not to think about it too much.
"Sorry, we're gonna be in here for a while, I live on the 15th floor." Shouta muttered, looking down in embarrassment.
"Stop apologizing, it's fine, Shou. I nagged you into this, remember?" I replied, pressing a small kiss to his cheek, which had the side effect that my nose filled up with the scent of coffee and deodorant for a while.
"Yeah, and I already feel terrible about it..." he muttered, as the doors of the elevator opened. He held the open for me again and I quickly got out. There were a bunch of doors along a hallway here and I followed Shouta to one of them. He unlocked the door and took a deep breath, before opening it slowly and poking his head in. He then turned to me with a worried look.
"Whatever happens, don't get in the way. And stay behind me for now, okay?" he asked. I nodded and followed him inside.
If I thought I had had a culture shock earlier, I was clearly wrong. Once the door closed behind me I noticed a strange, sour smell permeating the entire apartment. It almost made me dizzy. There was trash and stuff all over the place. I could hear the TV booming from the living room.
"Be careful where you step, there might be glass on the floor." Shouta warned me, while I was still trying to take all of this in and process it somehow. Glass on the floor? That sounded bad.
"O-okay." I whispered and followed him towards what I assumed to be the living room. There was someone sitting in an armchair, eyeing both me and Shouta up and down, before raising an eyebrow.
"Who the fuck is that?" he asked. Was that... was that his dad? And the woman sitting on the couch... had to be his mum then? They looked like pretty regular people. I don't know what I had expected, to be honest, but I was somehow surprised at what I was seeing. Shouta sighed.
"Mum, dad, this is my girlfriend, (F/N) (L/N)." he said. The room was dead silent, before his dad burst into laughter.
"Girlfriend? Someone actually wants to be with you useless piece of shit? Very funny, Shouta, how much did you pay her?" he wanted to know. I gulped and looked up, deciding to speak up for myself.
"He didn't pay me. I'm his girlfriend." I said. There was another stunned silence, before his dad looked at me and then back at Shouta.
"Why the fuck would you bring a girlfriend here? You knock her up or something?" he asked. Shouta's frown just got worse and worse. I was too surprised to say anything. Sure, my dad had been rude, but that was nothing compared to Shouta's dad. No wonder he didn't want to bring me over.
"I'm not like you. So no. I didn't." Shouta replied. I saw his mother on the couch roll her eyes in annoyance.
"At least he's not gay, I guess." she muttered. Her voice sounded hoarse and older than she looked.
"Hey. Girl. He really didn't knock you up? You on birth control or something?" his father asked me. I had no idea how to respond to that. Why were they so obsessed with me being pregnant?
"I... We... we didn't..." I stammered, which just made his father laugh out loud again and hit the armrest of his chair.
"You hear that, Naoko? They didn't even fuck yet."
"At least she didn't end up like me yet. Bringing a useless brat into this world. A fucking leech." his mother hissed, glaring at Shouta. He protectively wrapped his arm around my waist and shook his head.
"Shut up, both of you. I can't believe you can't try to be like normal fucking people for once in your life." he replied.
"You shut up, Shouta, you were a fucking mistake that was never meant to happen! You ruined my life, you hear?!" his mother suddenly yelled. I startled and jumped a little. What the hell did she mean, he was a mistake? Did she not want him? Was this what Shouta had to live with?
"Hey, hey, hey, Naoko, we have a guest. Calm down." Shouta's father yelled at her. She quickly sat back and looked completely passive again. What the hell was going on between them?
"Girl, there's only one thing I wanna know... what the hell do you want with a useless brat like my son?" he asked, looking at me with a self-satisfied grin. I glanced at Shouta who looked like he was absolutely fuming, but holding back for my sake. Fuck, at this point I didn't even want him to hold back anymore.
"He's not useless. Not at all. He's... he's kind and loyal... he cares about people, he just... understands, I..." I started, not even sure where to begin. All I really wanted was to say that I loved him, I loved him more than anything, and everyone else who thought he wasn't worth anything could fuck right off. But I hadn't even told him that yet and it just... seemed wrong to do it here and now.
"Oh, boo-hoo. Cut the bullshit. Come on, Shouta, be a man and fuck her and dump her already. Or are you too much of a pussy to do that, huh?" his dad interrupted me and looked at Shouta.
"I'm so sick of your shit, dad. I respect her, okay? Not like you know what that's like..." he replied. His father laughed again.
"Respect? How cute, Shouta. You gotta take what you want... they love it, even if they say they don't... Look at your mother, she's stayed with me for all those years... that's the kind of woman you want."
I was getting more and more distraught with all this. Was he... was he saying what I thought he was? That he literally raped Shouta's mother? Was that why she called him a mistake? This was so fucked up. I couldn't believe Shouta had put up with this for 16 years without even saying anything.
"Fuck you! I'm nothing like you and I never want to be anything like you, dad! I don't even know why I still come back he-"
Everything happened really fast then. Shouta stopped shouting at his father, his father was shouting something at him and I was pushed behind Shouta, the next thing I remembered was hearing something shattering and then Shouta was grabbing my arm, pulling me outside the apartment with him.
I didn't even have my shoes on, but as I looked over I saw that Shouta had grabbed both our shoes on his way out. He had closed the door quickly and was leaning against it, his arm bleeding.
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