All I Have Is All You Gave To Me [Young!Aizawa x Reader]

75 Twisted Transistor - Korn

A lonely life where no one understands you

But don't give up because the music do

I knew I had fucked up when I woke up and there was complete silence around me. I had once again fallen asleep in class and everyone was looking at me right now. I wasn't even sure what had woken me up, but it was probably the teacher yelling at me or something. I sighed.

"Sorry, Sir, I didn't sleep too well." I muttered.

"L/N, this is the third time this week. What's going on with that? Staying up late at night, so you have to sleep in class?" the teacher asked, raising his eyebrow. I gave him an annoyed look.

"No, Sir..." I replied. He shook his head at me angrily, as if he wasn't even willing to listen to me, before he made up his mind. I knew I was going to get another detention for this, but I really had no energy left to care. This was total bullshit, why were they expecting us to be functional again?

It hadn't even been that long since Oboro had died and we were expected to do just as well as usual again and have already forgotten about it. And most of the class was okay with that, because they hadn't been as close to Oboro as we had been. And most teachers knew about that and made some allowances but they were getting tired of it as well. But it wasn't like it was our fault we had gotten all messed up from this. It wasn't like it was anyone's fault, but still.

"Then why do you keep falling asleep in my class? Is it that boring? Do you already know everything? I'm in a good mind to suspend you for the rest of the day and have you rework everything during detention." the teacher sternly answered. I felt like I was close to tears at that moment.

"But, Sir..." Hizashi protested behind me, but he was shut up by our teacher straight away again.

"I'm not talking to you, Yamada, so keep it down! You answer me when I ask you a question!" he told him. I glanced over at Shouta who was basically glaring at him at this point.

"Sir, I really didn't mean to fall asleep, I'm sorry." I said, hoping he'd leave it at that. But he didn't.

"If you didn't mean to fall asleep, then why did you? And don't tell me about your friend dying again. It's been weeks now, we're all sad, but life goes on." he replied angrily. There were some gasps in the class and some whispers and I felt even more like crying. But I couldn't right now.

"We... we were close friends, Sir. Again, I'm sorry." I said quietly, trying not to get angry and dig myself in deeper. It was bad enough as it was, anyway. And at least the class seemed to be on my side with this.

"You should be getting over this by now. I know it's sad and it's tragic, but it happens and life goes on. You need to focus on your future." he started saying. He kept on talking, but I wasn't listening anymore. I was packing up my stuff, because I had had enough of this. I knew that I had to somehow get over this, but I had no fucking clue how to do this and he wasn't helping.

He wanted to suspend me? Alright then, because I was on my way to leave. It took him quite a while to realize I was packing up my things, so he stopped talking once I stood up to close my backpack and shoulder it.

"What do you think you're doing, L/N?" he asked me. I shrugged and made my way towards the door.

"You said you wanted to suspend me, so I'm making it easy for you. I'm leaving. You clearly can't deal with me being in your class right now, at least not without going into an angry rant or anything like that. So I'm leaving. You can continue your class then." I told him and opened the door.

"L/N, you're getting detention for that!" he shouted after me. I stuck my head back into the classroom.

"Alright then. I'll see you in detention, so." I replied and let the door fall shut behind me. I knew that this wasn't a smart move at all, but I didn't see any other way. I couldn't have stayed in that class without bawling my eyes out and he apparently couldn't just let the issue be, so it was obviously best if I left his class. I'm sure someone would give me their notes or something.

I had barely made it halfway down the corridor when I heard the door opening again and falling shut again. I turned around and saw Shouta walking up to me, his backpack slung over his shoulder, looking like he couldn't care less about getting in trouble. I wasn't sure what about this it was, but seeing him leave class as well after me was making me emotional.

As I was standing there, waiting for him to get to me, I started bawling like a little child. It was kind of ridiculous, but this was the first time that I felt like Shouta and I were really together again. Sticking together and standing up for each other, just like the old times. Like we were in first year.

"Shou... what are you doing?" I asked him. He looked down at me, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"I'm leaving class with you. He was being ridiculous and I didn't want to listen to any of his bullshit anymore." he answered, running his hand through my hair, before resting it against my cheek and wiping away some of my tears with his thumb. Out of reflex I leaned into his touch.

"You're going to get in trouble, Shou..." I muttered, but I honestly didn't want him to go back in there.

"So are you." he said with a chuckle.

"I know, I just... I couldn't stand the way he was talking about Oboro. As if he wasn't important and as if he didn't mean anything. I just couldn't stand it anymore." I replied with a hoarse voice. Shouta nodded and pulled me into a tight embrace, his hand stroking the back of my head gently.

"I know, I couldn't stand it anymore either. I don't know how he's being so cold about this. I mean... he doesn't even understand, does he?" Shouta replied, sounding angry and frustrated again.

"I don't know. I don't know if he does. I just know that I'm not trying to fall asleep during his class and I know I need to sleep more at night, but I just can't sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall asleep again." I told him, which made Shouta pull me even closer to him.

"Nightmares?"

"I think so. I don't know. I just always wake up in a cold sweat and with my heart completely wild and just... all kinds of bad things. I can never remember whether I'm dreaming or not, though."

"I know what you mean. It's the same for me. I have no idea what to do about it, either. I guess we can just hope that it somehow gets better over time. Which I doubt it will, but... I have no better ideas."

"Shou, I... I can't do this anymore. I need to be able to sleep somehow. I feel like I'm going insane."

"I know, I know and I wish I could do something to help you, but I just can't. I'm completely lost here, too. I'm sorry, F/N, I'm so so sorry." he said, burying his head in my hair and almost desperately holding onto me.

"I'm sorry, too..." I mumbled against his neck, carefully wiping away my tears, just before he let go of me. I looked up at him, into his tired and dark eyes and for the first time in ages I felt like I recognized him again.

"So... what do we do now?" I asked him.

"We're going to spend the rest of our day with better things than listening to someone who has no idea what he's talking about." Shouta replied and took my hand into his, as we walked along the hallway.

"Sounds good." I said with a faint smile on my lips. Maybe we would be able to get through this somehow.