Grey-Sloan Memorial from Your Perspective (LGBTQIA+ Story)

If I Lay Here

Y/n's POV

I think I need to properly go through the events and even before then with someone. It can't be any of my friends because they're too close and it can't be Arizona because I refuse to put her through that.

Our friends have been staying in our apartments for a few days and it was something that took my mind off of everything for a little while, but as the day goes on, I start feeling dreadful. Almost all of them have returned to work at this point except Alex, Meredith, Arizona, and myself.

I go find Meredith, who is sitting on the couch. She sees my face and opens her arms without saying anything. We sit there for a little while in silence before I speak up.

"Hey Mer, you know how you told me you were attacked by a patient a while back?" I ask and she just nods. "Would you be able to give me the contact information for the person you saw after it all. I think it's time I talk to someone who is a professional. A paid bestie, if you will." I say with a laugh. 

She looks at me with sympathetic eyes and says, "I'll do you one better, I will call Walter and get you an appointment. If he's available, can you be ready in two hours? I can walk you over." She says with a slight smile. "I can be. Can we let Arizona sleep? She has had enough of me for the past few days." I ask. "She is stronger than you give her credit for sometimes, Y/n. I know she is exhausted, but when we get back, you are telling her. Let's tell Alex after I call him to tell him we are going if we get the appointment. He can settle her nerves, because lord knows that woman is going to have them without you here." She says with a chuckle.

"Good plan." I say and text Alex to come over to my apartment. He comes walking in and sits down on the couch and takes my legs on his lap. "What's up, Y/n? You okay?" He asks worriedly.

"No, and that's okay. I need to see someone about my trauma and it can't be you all this time. I have to process this with someone. And I want you to understand that I am not pushing anyone away, I am just going to see someone who is best equipped to handle what I have to process through." I say with sad eyes looking at him. His face is laced with worry, but also understanding. "I also need you to go back over to Arizona's. I want to let her sleep, and we know that woman will be laced with worry and nerves if she knows I left without telling her. But she will know when I come back. Mer is going with me, so I am not alone." I say and we all let out a slight chuckle.

"I want you to be okay, Y/n. I love you and I am not going anywhere. I am so proud of you for knowing you need to get help. And Mer, thank you for doing this for her. Zola, Bailey, and Ellis are lucky to have you. You are the best mother and the best friend to all of us." He says, holding his hand out for Meredith to take and she does with a smile.

"Okay, I am going to call Dr. Carr. I will just be in the other room." She says and gets up. I then move over to cuddle with Alex. "You know,  you are the best big brother. Only by five minutes. I am sorry I chose to leave all those years ago. I wish I stayed with you." I say sadly.

"Y/n, don't apologize. I wouldn't change a thing. Look where we are now. I know we missed some time with each other, but we are together now. I have no plans on going anywhere. Not without you, at least. You're my favorite person, you always have been." He says with a kiss to the side of my forehead. 

I tuck myself into him tightly and just lay there in silence until Meredith comes back into the room. "Y/n, Walter cleared his schedule for you. He's blocked off the rest of the day, can you be ready in 15 minutes so we can go soon?" She asked. "How did you pull that one off?" I asked curiously. "He owes me." She said with a cheeky smile. 

"Okay, let me change and I'll be ready. Would he judge me if I was in a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants?" I ask with a laugh. "That man couldn't care less what you're in. He wants you to be comfortable. We can bring a blanket and snacks if you want to. We may be there a while. He really did clear his schedule." She says with a smile.