Grey-Sloan Memorial from Your Perspective (LGBTQIA+ Story)

Should I Stay?

Y/n's POV

I couldn't shake this feeling of guilt. I have caused so much trouble for this hospital ever since I got here. Like I was a nuisance or a liability to them.

I paged Dr. Bailey and Dr. Webber to the room. I knew they would be level-headed about the situation I am in. I hope they wouldn't be too mad about it, but I had to talk it through with them. 

Arizona was laying in bed with me when I paged them so I had to wake her up. "Hey, pretty lady. Wake up." I say to her. "Mmm, I'm up. Hey, cutie. How long have you been up?" She asks me with a smile. 

"Not long, Dr. Webber and Dr. Bailey will be here soon to talk about administrative things, would you mind grabbing some food from the cafeteria when they come. I don't want to bore you with paperwork." I tell her, just a little white lie. 

"I don't mind staying, baby. But I can go grab us something, if you're hungry." She says with a smile and places her hand protectively around me with her elbow propping her up. "I am hungry, baby. But stay until they come." I tell her. "You got it, babe." She says with a smile and a kiss to the lips.

A little while later, Dr. Webber and Dr. Bailey come in together. Arizona leaves me with a kiss and goes to the cafeteria.

"Everything okay, Dr. Karev?" Miranda asks. "You know to call me Y/n by now, Miranda. I call you by your first name." I tell her with a pout. "Okay, Y/n. What was it you wanted to talk about?" She asks.

They both look at me. "Okay, what I say doesn't leave this room, please? That's all I ask." I plead to them. "Of course." They state in unison. 

"I am considering leaving Grey-Sloan. Not for the reason that I don't love it here, because this place has given me more than I could have ever dreamed, but I feel as though I have put everyone through enough by being here. It seems I am hurt every week, I bring so much baggage, I have a clotting disorder that I have had problems with more times here than in 5 years. I feel like I have to rely on too many people when I hate doing that." I finish.

"I know, you're a tough nut to crack sometimes, Y/n. But these people here love you and care for you. I know it's tough to let people in. You have loved and lost more than someone should have to in their lifetime. I can't make you stay, but it would be be a great loss to see you go. Believe it or not, you make everyone around you 100 times better. Alex, he's complete. He has his twin and his best friend. Mer, she has her person, I didn't know she could have someone other than Christina, but now she has you. Jackson, you're like his sister too, he's very protective of you. Amelia can't say any more nice things about you. Everyone thinks highly of you. And I can't forget Arizona and neither can you. We all know that." Richard shares. 

"I know and that's why I am looking for every reason to stay. But I have caused enough hurt here and it's hard for me to stay. I have caused everyone enough hurt, and my being here is only going to cause more." I tell them.

Just then I noticed Arizona standing in the doorway. She stood there in shock, not saying anything. "Arizona.." I look over to her. Her eyes start to water and she looks away.

"Arizona, please look at me." I plead to her. The two others sit by in silence. "I--I have to go." She says. Without another word, she leaves the room. 

"DAMMIT!!" I say, slapping my water to the ground. Instant regret filled me, realizing I wasn't the only one in the room. "I'm sorry chief and Dr. Webber. It's just, now my one main reason for staying just walked out." I tell them. I have so much guilt now because I can't chase after her.

"It's okay, Y/n. It's okay to be upset. I will go find Arizona and explain to her what we talked about. She just needs to hear the full story." Richard says and places his hand on my arm. He then leaves the room and leaves me with Miranda. "I didn't mean for that to happen." I say with so much shame. 

"I know you didn't, but can I just say as a friend. You are an incredible person, Y/n. You fight for everyone here, you are fiercely loyal. Everyone says incredible things about you. The patients and their parents love you, they give me such compliments about you. I will do whatever you need for you to stay, but I will not force you to stay if that's not what you want. You do what makes you happy, because that's all I want here is for you to be happy. That's what everyone wants. I also know how happy Arizona makes you and how happy you make her. Please considering staying, but I will respect the decision you make." Miranda finishes.

"Thank you Dr. Bailey. I may have just screwed up my relationship inadvertently so I'm in a bind." I tell her with a nervous face. "Richard will take care of her. She needs the entire picture. Your feelings are valid, Y/n. I can grab Dr. Carr to come down here if he's available." She says to me. "I'd appreciate that. Thank you, Miranda." I say to her with a smile.

She nods and leaves the room. Just then Meredith and Alex come into the room running and I know I am in for it.

Arizona's POV

What the fuck did I just hear? Did I hear Y/n saying she is leaving? I can't believe I just heard that.

I shouldn't have left because I don't have the entire story, but I couldn't stay. What was I going to say?

I thought she was the one, she still is. What am I saying?

I am pulled out of my thoughts by someone yelling my name down the hall. "ARIZONA!" I hear and look up to see it's Richard. 

I didn't want to hear what he said so I kept walking. I tried to evade him as quick as possible. 

"Arizona, I know you can hear me. Stop!" He yells again. I keep walking away.

"Arizona Robbins, stop right now." He says sternly. And I stop. My authority issues kicking in.

He then pulls me wordlessly into a conference room. "Arizona, you need to listen to me right now. And I mean listen. Do not talk, just listen." He says. I go to open by mouth, but he puts his hand up.

"Y/n is hurting. Physically and mentally. She is wrecked with guilt. She feels her presence here has caused more harm than good, and it is true, she is considering leaving. I think she will stay if we all go to her individually and tell her what her presence here has done for us. That woman literally said after you left, that you're the one main reason for her staying and you walked out, Arizona. That woman would take a bullet for you, she already has. She would defend your honor, she already has. Grand gestures, she's done it. She has proved time and time again that you are it for her. You are the one, so I swear to God, Arizona. If you do not go back into that room, I will personally drag you there myself by your ear." He says on a stern tone. 

"What am I going to say? I walked out of the room. My head is all over the place right now." I tell him. "Do you love her?" He asks. "So much that it hurts." I tell him.

"Does she make you happy?" He asks another question. "More than anyone has before." I tell him. "Then there's your answer, that's it." He tells me with a smile.

His phone goes off and he takes it out to read a text. I get a text as well.

Y/n: I'm sorry, Arizona. I was going to talk to you after they left. I understand if you don't want to come back. I am seeing Dr. Carr now with Alex and Mer. I should be done by 3:30pm, if you still want to see me, but I understand if you don't. Again, I am sorry.

Fuck.

Now she thinks I hate her.

"Miranda texted me. Y/n is meeting with Dr. Carr in her room. Do you want anything from the bakery down the street? I texted Callie and she is on her way there." He asks.

"Yeah, she knows what I usually get. It hasn't changed in all these years." I tell him with a soft smile.

He types back to Callie and we sit in the conference room for her to return.

I can't answer Y/n, my response is too long for a text. I have to see her right at 3:30pm.