best of me | woosan (✓)

- fifty three -

as the days went on, things started to get a lot better for everyone. yeosang and jongho were starting to hang out again, yunho and mingi finally put a label on things, and seonghwa and hongjoong were doing better than ever as hongjoong finally agreed to try therapy again in addition to his medication (the first session went really well, so hongjoong was grateful that seonghwa convinced him to give it a shot).

san and wooyoung were both doing a lot better too. san was still struggling to grasp that his grandmother was really gone, and it made things pretty difficult, however he knew with wooyoung by his side, things would get easier. wooyoung was feeling a lot better physically, however, he was still beating on his self worth a bit.

san saw right through wooyoung's act. the boy was trying too hard to hide things and san knew something was wrong. even though wooyoung was better physically, san knew that day had taken a toll on wooyoung mentally too and he hadn't been handling it well.

"woo, baby?" san asked softly, kissing the boy's shoulder.

"yeah?"

"why are you trying to hide? i know something's wrong, love..."

"i don't wanna bring you down..."

"wooyoung... look at me. look me in the eye and tell me why you're trying to hide, not some excuse like that. you hate when i hide things from you, so why is it okay for you to hide things from me?"

wooyoung tensed a bit as he looked into san's eyes, his own beginning to fill with tears.

"it's okay, woo... i'm here, just let it out," san whispered, cupping wooyoung's cheek.

wooyoung took a deep breath, grabbing onto san's free hand and squeezing it tightly.

"i-i don't know w-why i feel like this... w-what did i do that day that made me feel like this?"

"woo... i don't think it was any specific day. i think this has all been building up deep down and something just clicked recently. i may not be the smartest when it comes to my own emotions, but i do know that these things kind of build up over time..."

"s-san..."

"it's okay, baby... it's okay to feel like this..."

wooyoung let the tears finally roll down his cheeks as he looked at san with a sad expression.

"a-and to think... i-i thought i w-would be the one to h-help you find h-happiness... b-but in reality... y-you're what keeps me h-happy..."

"shh... love, we both know i'm not the only thing. you have so many people all around you who keep you happy. you're just having a hard time right now and that's okay..."

san pulled wooyoung into his chest, allowing the boy to get comfortable as they laid down. wooyoung's cries broke his heart, all he wanted was for his smiley wooyoung to be back, infecting everyone around him with his positive energy.

"s-sannie... i-i'm s-sorry..."

"what do you have to be sorry for, love?"

"i-i'm usually the one smiling... y-you always tell me you love my s-smile... i-i'm sorry i'm not s-smiling."

"oh, baby... don't apologize for that, yeah? i'd rather you be real with me than hide your true feelings with a smile, okay?"

wooyoung nodded, sniffling a bit as he cuddled close to san.

"we're gonna help you feel better, bub. go get dressed, we're gonna go out."

"b-but what if—"

"we're not going to worry about running into my mom. if we see her, ignore her. if she tries anything, we call the police."

wooyoung nodded and got up, going over to his closet and grabbing some clothes. san watched as he did, then got up and grabbed his own clothes, beginning to change.

soon, the boys finished getting ready and the two were on their way, heading to the cemetery to visit jisu. wooyoung had no idea until they had arrived that this was where they were going, and he quickly went over to his sister's headstone when he realized, san following close behind.

"san..." wooyoung muttered, his eyes filling with tears.

"i thought seeing her might help a little..."

wooyoung simply nodded, reaching out and gently running his fingers over his sister's name.

"i miss you, ji... i really miss you," wooyoung whispered. "you should still be here. you should've gotten the chance to meet san in person, you should've gotten to send me off to university and cry more over yeosang leaving than me because he was your favorite of all my friends. you should've been able to have more late movie nights with me where we ended up staying up all night and talking about boys. i don't think this pain will ever go away, jisu... it's been so long, and yet i still feel so numb. i-i know you're watching out for me though. i know you're the reason that san is in my life and the reason i was able to fall in love with him. and i-i know you didn't know san, but i believe you're watching out for him too. please keep his grandparents company up there, they mean a lot to him."

and in his head, he could've sworn he heard jisu's voice telling him she promised she would. that alone was enough to help wooyoung gain the strength he needed to try and feel better again.

"thank you, jisu... for giving me san. i love you so much... i-i can't wait until i finally get to see you again."

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y'all aren't ready for what's coming up ....