best of me | woosan (✓)

- seventy eight -

tw / mentions of abuse & rape

"thank you for giving me one last chance, yeosang," jongho said softly, finishing up with making his bed.

"yeah..."

"can we just... talk about everything? i know i have no excuses for what i did, but i just want to get everything off my chest."

"fine."

jongho sat down on his bed and looked at yeosang laying down on his own, then sighed.

"i'm sorry. for everything. i really mean it this time. everything from not stopping with being a dick to seonghwa after you'd asked to hitting you when we fought. none of it was fair to you and i'm stupid for doing any of it.

"i'm not used to love or relationships or any of this. i've had girlfriends before, but you were my first boyfriend. but no one's ever made me feel the way you do. i'm in love with you, yeosang. i have been for a while, i just expressed it in the worst ways. i got insecure, i got worried that you would leave me, and i lashed out.

"if i could go back and change everything, tell myself that you wouldn't have left and i had no reason to be so insecure... i would. because then none of this would've happened and we could still be happy... together."

"look... jongho—"

"yeosang, please... don't feel like you have to forgive me right away."

"how'd you know i was gonna...?"

"i know you."

a light blush appeared on yeosang's cheeks, resulting in a smile from jongho.

"are you willing to answer some questions i have?" jongho asked.

"i'll try... i-i can't promise i'll be willing to answer everything."

"that's okay. you don't have to trust me to that extent just yet. i'll be patient."

yeosang nodded a bit, sitting up and looking into jongho's eyes for the first time since he had arrived to the dorm.

"i'm gonna try and start easy... uh.. did i treat you alright? at least in the beginning?"

"you did... you knew me better than most people outside of wooyoung, yunho and seonghwa... and i didn't have to explain things to you about why i acted a certain way. i liked that."

"okay... okay, that makes me feel a tiny bit better."

yeosang laughed slightly, then looked at jongho again.

"you're not a bad guy, jongho. you've done some stupid shit, but you've always had good intentions."

"you really think so?"

"if i didn't, i wouldn't be saying it."

jongho nodded a bit, chewing his lip.

"what triggered your reaction when i hit you? i-i don't know why... but some part of me wonders why you didn't hit me back or yell at me or anything. you just... left."

"i was abused as a kid, jongho. that's also what san meant by 'too'."

"he knows?"

"wooyoung told me i needed to tell someone. san was there when i needed him and he was willing to listen."

"does anyone else know? other than those two?"

"no. i've always kept it a secret. i didn't want to feel weak..."

"you're not weak for telling people about your trauma, sangie."

"you don't even know the half of it..."