best of me | woosan (✓)

- sixty three -

"woo, what are you doing?"

"finding out why jongho hit yeosang."

"wooyoung, no. yeosang obviously has a reason for not telling us, okay? let's respect his wishes. please..."

"you know, don't you?"

"only because i called jongho to yell at him that day," san fibbed. "i told him he was acting stupid."

"why can't i know?"

"yeosang doesn't want you to be upset or blame yourself."

"so he did tell you..."

san sighed, nodding, and wooyoung's expression faded. he was hurt that san knew, that yeosang told san, and that no one told him. he felt left out.

"why?" wooyoung asked.

"woo..."

"tell me, san."

"you don't want to know."

"yes, i do."

"wooyoung, please... please just let me protect you..."

"protect me from what?"

san sighed again, finally deciding to break.

"they got into a fight because yeosang was upset. he was upset that he didn't know how to help you when you weren't answering his texts. he knew you were probably going through a rough patch, and he tried explaining it to jongho, and jongho called you a bad friend. yeosang stood up for you, but jongho didn't want to listen and grabbed yeosang. when he pushed jongho away, that's when jongho slapped him."

"so he got hit trying to stand up for me..."

"its not your fault, woo. you can't control what others do or don't do for you."

"but if he had just let it be, he wouldn't have gotten hurt."

"wooyoung..."

"san, it's my fault. he got hurt because of me."

"this is exactly why sangie didn't want you to find out. he knew you would blame yourself."

"i'm blaming myself because it is my fault."

"no... it's not. it's not your fault, woo. it was yeosang's choice to stand up for you. he didn't have to do what he did, but still he chose to. if it's anyone's fault that it happened, it's jongho's. he shouldn't have been speaking about you being a bad friend. if he hadn't, yeosang wouldn't have had to make the decision to defend you and jongho wouldn't have put his hands on him."

wooyoung chewed his lip, nodding slowly.

"wooyoung..."

"i feel bad... like maybe, i-i could've prevented this."

"you weren't there, bub. you couldn't."

wooyoung nodded again, cuddling into san's side. san noticed this change in behavior and frowned slightly, but not enough for wooyoung to notice.

"how about a walk?" san asked softly.

"where to?"

"anywhere."

"jisu?"

"if that's what you'd like, then of course."

wooyoung smiled weakly and nodded, then the two got up and headed out of the house. they quietly walked to the cemetery, wooyoung clinging to san's side, feeling vulnerable.

when they arrived, san sat down and pulled wooyoung into his lap, smiling small.

"h-hi ji..." wooyoung whispered. "i-i just found out that yeosang got hurt standing up for me... i'm sure you knew that, b-but... it hurts. it hurts knowing that he was reminded of his trauma trying to stand up for me."

"woo..." san muttered, gently rubbing the boy's hips.

wooyoung ignored san and continued to speak, hoping that it would help him with what he was feeling.

"i-i haven't gotten this bad in a while, ji. i-i feel like i won't be able to s-stop myself... h-help, ji... i-i need your help..." he cried.

san's heart broke at the sight of the small boy in front of him. he pulled wooyoung into his chest, holding him tight and pressing soft kisses to his neck and shoulders. wooyoung broke into sobs, turning around slightly and hugging onto san.

"i'm here, woo... i've got you, you're okay..." san whispered, stroking wooyoung's hair.

"d-don't leave me... p-please..." wooyoung whimpered.

"i'd never leave, baby... i'm always going to be by your side... it's all going to be okay, i promise."

san gently kissed wooyoung's forehead, continuing to play with his hair and hold him tight.

"i-i d-don't want to die... i-i—"

"shh... shh, you're not going anywhere, woo... i'm gonna keep you safe, don't be scared."

"i-i know i-i say i-i d-don't want to—"

"i know what you're going to say, bub. it's okay, i understand. i'm just like that, you know?"

wooyoung nodded, burying his head into the crook of san's neck and continuing to sob. san just sat there and held him, allowing wooyoung to let everything out — something he was never able to do before he met the latter. they were each other's strength, each other's rocks. without each other, they would never have been able to make it this far, and both boys were extremely grateful that they had.

everything was worth it, as long as they had each other.