best of me | woosan (✓)

- seventy -

tw / mention of suicide attempt

a little over a month later, seonghwa, hongjoong, san and wooyoung were moving into an apartment a short distance from the university their friends went to. the experience was both exciting and frightening, however it also brought san a great sense of relief to be heading farther away from his mom.

as it was their last day at wooyoung's, the two boys made a plan to visit the diner for breakfast and then visit jisu before they left, knowing they wouldn't be back very often. seonghwa and hongjoong were fine with this, deciding they'd move their own stuff over and then pick the two up later in the day.

san and wooyoung had just finished up their breakfast at the diner and were heading to the cemetery when wooyoung stopped in his tracks.

"what is it? what's wrong?" san asked softly.

"there's another place i want to visit too... i-i feel like it might give me some closure."

san nodded, squeezing wooyoung's hand.

"where to?"

"follow me."

san allowed wooyoung to lead the way and within ten minutes they arrived at a bridge. san gasped slightly upon realizing the significance of the bridge, then pulled wooyoung close.

"woo... why are we here?"

"we're here because i need to remind myself of how much progress i've made... a-and seeing this place now... i-i don't want to jump anymore. i'm lucky, extremely lucky. jisu saved me, and now... now i can stand here and say that i don't want to jump. it took a couple years, but i did it. i-i can finally feel the progress being made, sannie..."

"i'm so, so proud of you, love. you're doing amazing, and i know that you're going to keep up the hard work and sooner or later you're going to feel okay."

"y-you think?"

"we're both going to feel okay. i know we have our good and bad days, but soon things will be more consistent. we've got this."

"i-i love you, san..."

"i love you more, woo. do you... do you want to talk about that day? or is it still really fuzzy?"

"being here... i-i actually remember everything. it's weird that i do, honestly..."

"if you don't want to talk about it we don't have to, love."

"we can. just... don't let me go," wooyoung whispered, signaling to their interlocked hands.

"i'd never," san muttered softly, kissing wooyoung's fingers.

the two walked over to a bench that was a little ways before the bridge, sitting down with wooyoung resting his head on san's shoulder.

"i was hanging out with yeosang, seonghwa and yunho that morning. i had been planning on finding some way of ending it all after leaving, so i thought that would be my last time ever seeing them. before i left... i-i gave them all big hugs. a-and then i was on my way...

"i wandered the streets a bit, just trying to think of a way to go about things where i wouldn't fail. i-i wanted to die so bad, san... a-and then i saw the bridge. a-and it was someplace where i went a lot with jisu when we needed to talk about our problems, so i just stood there for a while before deciding that i wanted this to be the place. i got up on the rail, a-and the second i got up there, i felt afraid. afraid of the pain... b-but i still thought i deserved it.

"i stood up there for a bit, debating with myself. i was about to jump, a-and jisu grabbed my hand. all she said was "no". i tried to get her to let go and almost fell, i put up such a fight before finally getting down. a-and when i did... ji told me i was stupid. stupid for trying to leave her alone when i was all she had. stupid for choosing the one place she would think to look.