Warning this is gonna be kinda sad. Also it's going to contain a mention about miscarriage and infertility issues. I am not in the best mood at the moment so this is based of what my brain is thinking about. And kinda part of my story. I'll probably say a little bit at the end. But yeah :)
——Y/N P.O.V.——
Today was one of those rough days. We all have them. And you know they say that eventually you get over loosing someone really important in your life. But you don't. Death is something that some are scared of. And some feel they are ready for. But your own death isn't the tough time. It's the death of others that difficult. Loosing a loved one. For me, it was my grandfather. Though I had lost him 4 years ago, it still stuck with me. The smallest things. They made me think of him. Being outside. Seeing older guys on riding lawn mowers. Red barns. Plaid shirts. Guys with white hair. There was a lot. And it became overwhelming sometimes. He was a big part of my life and loosing him was very traumatic. So days like today, when I sit here in my bed crying looking out the window as birds fly by and cars drive passed, all I do is think. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and closing. "Baby?! Where are you?" I heard Roman ask and I sighed. I wiped my tears as quickly as I could as I could hear him walking up the stairs. He opened our bedroom door and I looked over at him as he stopped. "Awe babes." He said softly as I covered my face beginning to cry again. I loved when he called me babes. But in the moment it made me very emotional. He walked over to the bed crawling on as I sobbed. He pulled me into his arms rubbing my back. That was one thing I loved about him. He just let me cry it out. He didn't stop me from getting these emotions out. Eventually I stopped sobbing and just began to sniffle once and a while. "They say it goes away. But it never does." I said wiping my face and shaking my head. "What never goes away baby?" He asked and I sighed. "The pain. Of loosing someone. That pain from loosing my grandfather hasn't went away." I said shaking my head beginning to cry again. "I know baby. People don't always feel so strongly about others as you do. I know that when I lost my brother... that pain hasn't went away either." He said and I nodded with a sniffle. "I try so hard to just... get over it, or stop thinking about it. But I can't. The memories I have with him I can't just let go of. I cannot just walk away from those and not turn back. I still miss having him here. I missing his hugs. I miss his stubble rubbing against my cheek every time I hugged him. I miss him calling me my nickname. I miss gardening with him. I miss him getting snippy at my grandma when he was tired and she was nagging him about table manners. I miss him scaring me when he had to check his blood sugar when I was little. Those things don't just leave my memory now that he's gone." I said shaking my head furiously. He hugged me tightly as I cried into his chest. "I know baby. I know. And don't listen to no one who tells you it has to." He said and I nodded sniffling. "Everyone has a right to get upset. You have a right to miss lost loved ones and friends. And if some people don't that oh well. That's their loss. I look at it as a good thing sweetheart. I think back at moments with my brother. Or my uncle. And I think about how great those moments make me feel. And then you aren't crying because you are grieving you are crying because you are happy." He said rubbing my back making me sigh in content. He was totally right. "Thank you." I whispered looking up at him and he cocked his head to the side in confusion. "For what?" He asked with a soft smile. "Always being here. When I'm like this. I've always needed someone to just sit here and tell me it's okay. And that it's okay to not be over it like everyone else tells me to do. You let me express how I feel and you take my feelings into account and really think. And that is something I have never found in a relationship." I said stroking his cheek and he smiled. "You my love mean the world to me. And I love to see you happy. But I know that it's important to know how you are feeling when you aren't happy. And what's causing your unhappiness." He said and I smiled. "I love you." I whispered and he smiled pecking my lips softly. "I love you more. Now, I want you to take a nice relaxing bath. I just remembered that I forgot a few things while I was out. So, I'm gonna go get those. Then when I get back we are gonna go somewhere to lift your spirits okay?" He said kissing my forehead as I nodded. "Wait do I have to get dressed fancy?" I asked and he shook his head. "No just dress comfortable baby. One of my sweatshirts and leggings or sweatpants will be just fine. It's a little cold out too." He said and I nodded. "Here you sit here I'll go run you a bath." He said kissing my lips and I shook my head. "No no you don't have too." I said and he shook his head. "No. Lay here. I'm doing it." He said pushing me back on the bed making me smile. He crawled on top of me and kissed me sweetly. "Stay here missy." He said pointing a finger at me making me smile. He walked into the bathroom and I heard the faucet turn on. I waited playing with my hair as I looked back out the window. "It's ready baby." He said walking over to me. He swooped me up in his arms making me squeal. He walked me into the bathroom standing me up. "I got it from here baby. Thank you." I said with a soft smile and he pouted. "I can't undress you?" He asked and I blushed. "Mmm why do you wanna undress me?" I asked leaning into him and he groaned. "Cuz I like undressing youuuuu." He said and I giggled. "Fine. Come on hurry up." I said and he smiled. I watched him as he slowly pulled off my shirt. Looking at my upper body in content before he moved down to my legs. Sliding my pants off along with my underwear. "You are so gorgeous." He said with a sigh as he kissed my stomach standing up. I walked over to the bathtub and he grabbed my hand helping me in. I moaned softly as the hot water engulfed my body. "Feel good?" He asked and I nodded with a smile. "Thank you my love." I said softly kissing his cheek. He nodded with a smile before standing up. "Alright I'll be back in a little bit." He said kissing the top of my head. He walked out of the bathroom and I listened as he closed the door downstairs. Our car starting up and taking off down the road. I sighed sitting lower in the bathtub. It really did feel amazing. And I was completely relaxed. I closed my eyes breathing in deeply. I stayed in the bath until the water began to get cold. I drained the water getting out. I grabbed a towel getting out. I wrapped it around my body and walked into the bedroom. I walked then into the closet. I grabbed one of Romans sweatshirts and a pair of leggings. I changed quickly before I walked into the bathroom to do my hair. I tied it up before I put deodorant and perfume on. I heard the door open and I walked downstairs. "There's my gorgeous wife. Come on." He said with a smile and I grabbed his hand as we walked out to the car. He opened the door for me and I slid into the seat. "You have to put a blindfold on okay? I want it to be a surprise." He said with a smile and I nodded. He slid the blindfold around my eyes tying it in the back. "Alright my love. Let's get a move on." He said with sigh before shutting my door. I heard him get in the car and then I felt the car take off. He grabbed my hand holding it in his. "Sooo are you gonna tell me what we are doing?" I asked and he chuckled. "No baby. We are almost there." He said with a chuckle before we came to a stop. "Ready?" He asked and I nodded impatiently. He helped me take the blindfold off before I looked up. He took me to my grandfathers grave. I looked over at him as tears filled my eyes. "Come on." He said and I got out. He walked to the back opening the trunk. I walked around to him and looked in the car. There was a blanket and a picnic basket. "I figured since I know you used to love to have lunch with him. That we could have lunch together with him to cheer you up. I brought him a sandwich. I know he likes beer. I brought him one of those too. Are you up for this? If you think it's odd or you feel uncomfortable then we can leave I just I-." I cut him off kissing him. Tears streamed down my face. "I love this. So much. This is so thoughtful. Thank you so much for thinking of this." I said and he nodded with a big smile. "Come on let's go have lunch with your grandpa." He said and I nodded. I grabbed the blanket and he grabbed the picnic basket. We walked over to his grave setting the blanket down in front of it on the grass. He set the picnic basket down and began pulling things out.
