Sam and max stories

The chaperone

(art by me) 

It was a normal evening at Stinky's diner and Max was having fun, humming and making food for the customers as usual.

Suddenly, he hears a woman crying.

He puts a pot on his head for protection and looks out into the restaurant.

The crying was coming from Sybil, who was sitting at a booth and crying her eyes out. Grandpa stinky was trying to comfort her. "Don't cry lass, everything will be alright!" Sybil continues to weep, getting up and running into the women's restroom for more tissue paper. Grandpa sighs. "Poor dear.."

"Grandpa, what's wrong with Sybil?" Max asks, walking over. "Her scurvy ex boyfriend stood her up for the big fancy gala at city hall. And now she can't seem to find another date."

Sybil walks out, having calmed down slightly. "That's because there's only one man in this city who's as tall, dark and handsome as he is.." she sniffles. "And that's him..." she almost cries again. "No, no lassie, no more crying! We'll get ya a date!' he thinks. "I'll take ya!" Sybil almost cries again. "O-okay what about gs?" he pointed to gs who was sitting on the counter filing her nails. Sybil almost cries AGAIN. "Wait wait!" grandpa says, picking up max. "Take max!"

Sybil jumps. "Ahh! The lagomorph? Are you serious?" Sybil asks. "Do you know what that would do to my complexion?! People would mistake me for a planetarium!" grandpa looks at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

Sybil stares at her hands. "I...don't...know..."

she then wrings her hands. "But I can't take him grandpa! They'll kick me off of jury duty!" "yeah they would... we've got to find someone else!" grandpa says.

He turns to the rest of the customers. "Listen up! Which one of you lucky lubbers wants to take the lovely Sybil Pandemik," he shows Sybil, who tries her best to look pretty, off to them, "to the gala?"

Every single man instantly left the building. (they all had bad taste in women, Sybil is a queen)

Sybil sighs and looks at max. "Just Don't be late max..." she walks out sadly.

Grandpa looks max in the eye. "Now listen, lad, I'm counting on you to make this an extra special night, for an extra special lady." he grabs Max by the shoulders. "Now remember, you're doing it for good ol grandpa-"

"Oh hi grandpa!" Max says, walking up behind him. "Are you talking to that life size doll I made?" Grandpa turns around. "It's pretty realistic isn't it?" He takes the doll's arm. "I made this part out of-"

"Nevermind that!" grandpa says, slapping it away. "You're taking Sybil to the gala." Max smiles. "Really? Oh wow!" He then salutes. "Don't worry grandpa, I am a fancy party expert!"

*screen wipe*

"Oh John, I'm a fancy party failure..." Max says, facepalming on his and Sam's couch. "I couldn't even get a date to my own senior prom..." John makes a questioning alligator noise. "No, that was Sam that brought his grandma..." Max says. (secretly he wished he'd gone with Sam, but had been too nervous to ask him out back then.) "Besides, how am I supposed to compare with Sybil's old boyfriend? Mr 'tall, dark and handsome'..?"

John makes a noise. "What's that john?" John brings Max a rolled up magazine. Max takes it and reads the cover. "Tall, dark and handsome." Max smiles. "Say, John, this magazine gives me an idea!"

*screen wipe*

Without further ado, Max got to work.

He borrowed one of Sam's old suits and, using the sewing techniques his dad had taught him, adjusted it to fit him. But he left the pants long, because he had a plan for them. He then had a nice long shower, making sure every inch of his fur was sparkling and pristine. He even borrowed Sam's trimmer and made sure there were no overgrown patches of fur. He then got one of the roses Sam had given him for valentines day and put it in the breast pocket of his suit coat, And for the finishing touches, he tied the long stilts to his feet before putting the pants on. "Tall!" He put on and styled an old wig he had until not a hair was out of place. "dark!" and finally he brushed his teeth until his shark-like smile was blinding. "Handsome!"