Sam and max stories

The great pet race

(shin belongs to @MrBandwidth on ao3) 

It was a city morning in New York, and Max was playing trumpet badly in his top bunk.

He finishes and laughs. "Good morning, apartment building!" then blows it in John's face. "Good morning Johnny!" he says as he pats his head gently. John makes an annoyed gator noise.

Max steps out into the hallway. "Good morning world! IIII I'M READY!" He then looks around. "World...?'

Over at the Gs's apartment, a delivery man knocked on her door. Gs opens. "Talk to me." The delivery man tips his hat to her. "Package, ma'am!" He holds up a pet carrier. gs gets excited. "Oho! I can't believe It's finally here!" she says as she signs the paper. The delivery guy hands her the carrier. "Oh thank you thank you thank you!" gs says. "Thank you, miss Melissa, gal!" he says. gs jumps, then gets annoyed. "That's GIRL!" she yells, walking back in her apartment.

"Gs's first name is Melissa...?" Max asks. "Poor gal..." Sam says, poking his head out of their apartment door.

Gs walks back out with a small white dragon with gold horns perched on her arm and humming to herself.

Sam looks. "Hey, check out Gs's new pet!" max whistles. "Fancy!" he smiles. "So that's what came in the mail." he picks up john, petting his head. "Looks like John has a new little playmate!" Gs scoffs. "Dream on, max. I wouldn't let Shin here play with that swamp monster! He is a purebred." Sam looks at shin. "Wow! A dragon made out of bread!" gs shakes her head. "No! Purebred means he's of the highest pedigree."

She holds up a certificate. "See, he even has his own papers."

she puts it away. "So if you'll excuse us, Shin has to begin his training." Max tilts his head. "Training?" gs looks at him. "For the straight street pet race! Shin will be winning this Sunday." Sam tilts his head. "Sunday?"

Max walks over to her. "Well, I guess I can't enter john in that... Sunday's laundry day!" Gs's face falls. "Tch- no max! You can't enter john because john is a wild animal!"

John was wearing a little cowboy hat.

Max smiles. "Boy, you got that right, joh- Heyyyy! What makes you so sure John couldn't win that race?" Max says, annoyed. "Papers." gs says smugly, holding it up again. Sam reads the papers. "Hmmmm, Property of Melissa, gowl." gs growls. "That's GAL! Err- GIRL!" She puts it away and pets Shin's head gently. "Come on shin." she walks off.

"You know what?" Max says. "I'm starting to get the idea that gs thinks HER pet is better than mine!"

"no!" Sam says, aghast.

Max smiles. "Sam, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "yeah!" Sam says. "I should get a pet and enter it in that race and beat gs!" he rushes off.

Max turns to john. "Are YOU thinking what I'm thinking?"

John was thinking about watching cartoons.

"No no no!" Max says. "I'm thinking about entering you in that race, and beating Gs's pet!"

He runs off, then immediately comes back wearing a coach outfit. "Looks like we gotta start our training now, ladies!" he laughs. "See, i call you a lady to humiliate and demean you, it's a motivational tool we coaches use.

Meanwhile, mama Bosco was working on a new device of some sort, when she suddenly looked up. "I don't know why, but I have a sudden urge to punch max clear through the nearest ceiling...."
she shrugs. "Maybe tomorrow." then gets back to working on her invention.

*screen wipe*

Max opens a can and tosses its contents in the blender. "Whey powder, for muscle mass." he tosses a few eggs in. "raw eggs, cause they're cliché." he throws in some iron nails too. "And nails, for toughness!" He blends it all together.