Sam and max stories

Help wanted

(art by me) 

Ah,  New York city. So loud, crowded, and never sleeping. Here we see the wretched block of urban misery known as straight and narrow. Home of one of my favorite creatures, max the lagomorph.

What? Of course he lives in this building you silly!

It was a normal morning, and Max was asleep in the top bunk of his bed.

Suddenly, the clock struck seven and his alarm went off.

It took three or four ringing cycles before Max actually woke up, getting a long stick from under the mattress and pushing the button to turn it off.

He then sits on his knees. "Today's the big day john!" He looks down to John, who makes an alligator noise. "Look at me, I"M NAKEEEEED!" Max hollers as he jumps out of bed.

He then goes over to his "barbell"(they were just two of his stuffed animals on a pole) and says, "gotta get in top physical condition for today, Johnny."

He then tries to lift the thing, but struggles a lot before finally getting it over his head, and tossing it back down. The animals landed with a squeak.

"IIIIIIII'M READY!"

"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!" Max repeated as he went out.

As Max skipped out, he went past Sam, who had just woken up from sleeping on the couch.

"Go max!" he cheered before accidentally falling off the couch. "AH!" he landed on the floor with a loud thud. "Ouch."

*screen wipe*

"There it is..." Max says as he stops walking. "The finest eating establishment ever established for eating... Stinky's diner...home of the fudgie freeze..." he looks at the window. "With a help wanted ad in the window!" He stands up straight. "For years I've been dreaming of this moment! I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look him straight in the eye, lay it on the line, and- I can't do this!" Max says, slumping down and turning around, having lost all his confidence.

He runs into sam. "S-Sam!" "Where do you think you're going?" he says sternly. "Uh, I was-" "no you're not! You are going to Stinky's diner to get that job!" Sam says, pointing at the building. "I can't!" Max cries. "Don't you see? I'm not good enough!" Sam kneels down and puts his hand on Max's shoulder. "Who's first words were 'may I take your order'?" he asks. Max wipes his eyes. "Mine were." Max replies. "Who made an ice cream scoop out of toothpicks and wood chips?" Sam asks. "I did!" max replies, more confident. "Who's..." Sam strained as he struggled to think of a third thing. "Who's..." he keeps straining. "WHO'S A SHORT WHITE LAGOMORPH WITH SHARK TEETH!?" max jumps. 'I AM!" Sam smiles. "WHO'S READY?" "I'M READY!" "WHO'S READY?" "I'M READY!" "WHO'S READY?"

"IIIIIIII'M READY!"

Sam smiles as Max continues happily skipping off towards the diner, repeatedly saying he was ready.

Meanwhile, girl stinky was cleaning the front window, trying to scrub off graffiti that someone drew calling her a hussy.

She notices Max was skipping towards the diner. "Oh no, max.... What could he possibly want?"
While Max was saying. "Go max! Go max! Go max! Go self!" she noticed the help wanted ad, gasping and screaming. "Aaaaah! Grandpa!" she says, running in and up to the counter where grandpa stinky was. "Hurry Grandpa, before it's too late, there's something I need to-"

"Permission to come aboard captain!"

Max says as he opens the door. "I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the stinky crew..." he says in a dramatic voice. "And now I'm ready!" he says in his normal voice.